Thursday, November 13, 2008

Yet another sleepless night with the nice addition of a recurring nightmare.

It all started when I fell into a deep sleep at about 8pm. Beau got home from small group at around 10pm and I woke up when he came to bed. And then I was wide awake (thanks to what turned out to be a nice nap) until after 1am.

That is when the dreams started - disturbing dreams that ultimately woke me up at around 4am. The kicker was when Jesse ran off the end of an unprotected balcony despite me calling for him to STOP! Then every time I closed my eyes, that vision would come back and continue only with me trying every way imaginable to get Jesse to STOP before running off of the balcony, to no avail - he ran off every single time. The last one was me begging Beau to get him to stop because clearly the kid was not going to listen to Mom. That didn’t work either, so I lay there with my eyes wide open and desperately praying for new, less deadly images to replace the repeating one. Eventually I fell asleep sometime after 5:10am only to be awakened rudely by my alarm at 6am.

I will be begging my OB for Ambien or something similar at my appointment next week. I need deep sleep.