Friday, December 14, 2007

I’ve been tagged by Amy to share my thoughts on spanking. This is a place holder for the post I am going to write. My plan is to post it later today.

Quickly, I’m pro spanking and I’ll share why in the longer post.

There’s a reason the old adage is an old adage - “spare the rod, spoil the children.” I believe it to be true. I support spanking as an effective discipline tool in parenting. It worked on me as a kid and I know that Beau was occasionally spanked, but in both of our cases it was rare.

I remember only one time being fully spanked by my father and I totally deserved it. Jaynee and I were messing around under the pews at church during communion - I think we were 7 and 5 years old at the time. We got home and each received a spanking and time in our room (we shared at that point). I don’t remember what Dad used, but I’m thinking it was his hand on our bare behinds. Painful enough to get the point across - we never messed around during church again.

I was the compliant child and rarely got into serious trouble. There was a short time in junior high when I was grounded for long periods and when Mom resorted to swatting my behind with a wooden spoon. Many wooden spoons were broken on my butt in those days. I think we’d both agree that it was just puberty kicking in along with a little angst about Dad being at sea (this was a time when he was deployed more than he was home and things were a little unsettled because of the Iran hostage crisis and a few of my peers fathers deaths in the community as the result of training accidents).

For the most part my parents would send us to our rooms when we were in trouble. In hindsight and with chuckles, my mother realized that this was hardly punishment for me since I loved to be in my room alone. And there was the grounding, of course, which was annoying but nothing more than that really, imho. Like I said, I never really got into major trouble and when I did I usually dimed myself out because of the overwhelming guilt.

My son is only 11 months old, but already we have swatted his little behind. We have a strong little guy and as he gets bigger there are times when his wiggling is too much for me to control. When his wiggling almost resulted in his falling off of the changing table, I swatted his bare behind (it was a light smack with my fingers with no intent to hurt him, just for shock) and told him, “No,” to get his aural attention. It worked and he instantly stopped moving. He was so shocked and cried for maybe 10 seconds and then laughed. I think he was 7 or 8 months old at the time. I had to repeat that only once or twice more before he finally got it that when we change diapers he is not to roll over at all. He still wiggles and kicks his legs, but we haven’t had another incident since and when I tell him, “No,” he stops.

Beau and I are in agreement that other methods of discipline are to be tried first. Spanking is a last resort form of punishment unless Jesse has ignored a safety warning. Spanking is immediate if he attempts to run into the street or something similar that puts his safety in jeopardy. Otherwise we’ll see what kind of punishment works with him as he gets older. So far he’s an easy, compliant kid but we know that as he gets older and more autonomous we’ll be tested as parents. And we realize, too, that each child we may have will be individuals and that whatever works for Jesse may not (probably won’t) work for another child. But we will employ judicial spanking if it’s warranted.

Tag 5 bloggers
1st - You leave their blog and post link and add to the list below.2nd - Let the blogger know that they have been tagged by leaving comment in their blog.

Miche does not spare the rod.
Jo-N wants to be her children’s best friend.
Tot’s Mom spares the rod and believes in patience.
Huckdoll spares the rod and believes there are more effective yet gentle ways to discipline than spanking.
Kelly at Ordinary Art has a three-step approach that does not always work but leaves tiny tushes mark free.
OhMommy has spanked and never will again.
Amy spanks when necessary.
Jaynee is pro, but as a last resort.
Amy spanks.
Jen plans to spank.

Bloggers whose opinions I’d like to see on this, but who are not obligated to participate: Granny, Any of the Thinklings, Tony, World Despot, Robbo Llama Butcher, and Bryan

Instructions:
1. Go to your blog.
2. Post about the topic.
3. Give me the hot, hard, and heavy linky love
4. Copy the last paragraph above and add your name and discipline style.
5. Post that paragraph onto your blog, including links. (Yeah, you will want to sharpen a pencil and stab it in your eye at this point. But, isn’t that half the fun.)
6. Go to the five people you have tagged and leave them a comment to know they are now, it.
7. Sit back and let the comments roll in.