Wednesday, June 18, 2003

Phone rings.

ME: US Marshals Service.

HIM: *on speaker phone, so that’s a strike against him from the git-go...oh, and he’s yelling, not to be heard but because he’s irate - strike two* I need to speak to a supervisor because the Marshals have committed fraud (there were additional accusations that I won’t get into)…

ME: *trying to keep calm because I don’t like to be yelled at when I’ve done nothing to warrant it* Sir, what kind of fraud are you talking about?

HIM: *did I mention that he has a heavy foreign accent? He’s of Middle Eastern extraction based on that accent and his name, which I will change for his privacy later, as much as it pains me* I have a case in court and I had summons to be served by the US Marshals and the judge is saying they were not served and [a large insurance company he’s suing, now known as ALICHS™ for my story] are saying they never received the summons, but I have a copy from the US Marshals that says the summons was served… *he rambled on for a little bit more before I finally cut him off*

ME: Sir, hold on a second. Before you accuse us of shenanigans *yes he used that word* and fraud, let me get a few more details. I’m the civil clerk and I think I can help you. (or words to that effect) And would you mind picking up your phone, I’m having a hard time hearing you on the speaker? (I could hear him fine since he was yelling, but I hate speaker phones and didn’t want to deal with it.)

The next 10 minutes were relatively civil (heh) as I was able to figure out which case it was (Hussein v ALICHS™), check my process logbook to see what I had on record. Turns out he had six summonses for his case. Two of them needed to be forwarded to another district to be served, the “missing” one was one of those.

ME: Sir, from my log it looks like the process was served on October 9 and I returned it to the Clerks Office on October 15. Did you get the yellow copy?

HIM: Yes, I have it in my hand.

ME: *heavy internal sigh - then what on earth is the problem, I’m thinking* Well, if you have the yellow copy then you can see that it was served, a deputy signed and dated it, and the office date stamped it. Right?

HIM: Yes, but Judge Smith is saying that it wasn’t served. The Clerks Office is saying they don’t have a copy. So someone in the US Marshals is playing shenanigans…

ME: No, sir. You have the proof in your hand that the summons was served. There’s no fraud or shenanigans going on. A piece of paper got misplaced between my office and the Clerks Office…

HIM: Yes, and that’s shenanigans *I can’t believe I’m having an argument about what shenanigans are with this guy* is it not?

ME: Not really, stuff gets lost in the shuffle all the time. I can make a copy of my copy and take it to the Clerks Office.

Immediately I could sense the calm come over him.

HIM: Will you call Judge Smith to tell him it was served?

ME: I don’t need to call the judge, the Clerks Office will notify his office.

ARGH. Four people who overheard me said I handled it well. So that’s nice to know. I was cursing him in my head.

Then LW said, “Whe didn’t you pass him on to a supervisor? You don’t get paid enough to handle irate callers.”

“Because I had the answer he was looking for, I just needed for him to calm down long enough to listen to it.”

And now I feel better. *sigh*

LATER: Before I could post this I was checking my files and I see that he’s a serial sue-er. We have a few of them in the district. Every once in a while I’ll get a huge pile of civil process (usually summonses) that are for one case. Last time it was 24 summonses.

Unrelated to the above, we have about 12 young interns from HQ over for a visit with The Marshal. I think he should lock them in the cellblock for a minute or two.