Tuesday, December 20, 2005

I’ve mentioned my affection for Martha: Everyday. I’ve also mentioned my affection for The Apprentice: Martha Stewart. I dig the woman, don’t ask my why.

In any case, there were a couple of things that happened on Martha: Everyday this week that made me think about posting something about it. But busyness kept me from doing it until I read the following at TWoP:

Martha’s daytime talk show, Martha, has become painful. PAIN. FUL. I am just full of the pain when I watch her awkwardly interact with her guests, stepping all over whatever they’re saying, ordering them around her kitchen or impromptu potting shed, telling them they suck when they do something wrong—it’s awful. The Marcia Cross appearance, a.k.a. the first episode? Lovely. Hysterical. Well done. However, this week’s show with Nobu? Well, let’s just say that Martha spent a ridiculous amount of time comparing the cut on her hand to Dave Letterman’s (WHO WASN’T EVEN THERE!), saying that hers was worse than Dave’s, and because of that, Dave needs to come on her show. We’re talking scar one-uppance, people. With Martha Stewart. What’s that about?

On the same show, Alexis was in the back making caramel almond popcorn with Jennifer Koppelman, who was tossing Martha some DELIGHTFULLY nasty looks whenever Martha intruded her big, nosy camera in on what they were doing back there. Martha even had the gall to insinuate that they were just standing around doing nothing! You can bet Alexis could show Martha some scars that would beat her ass. Emotional scars. Apparently, Alexis popped a Xanax before going on that show and thank god she did, since Martha basically said, “Alexis is tall, unmarried, divorced, and without children, so what does she have in common with Jennifer, who is less tall, has two kids, and is married to that handsome man in the front row?” I kid you not. And did you know that when Alexis broke her arm, Martha’s reaction was to laugh? Martha admitted it was a strange reaction to have, but, people, she LAUGHED WHEN HER KID BROKE HER ARM! Insanity.

Martha is so socially inept and mostly, it seems, with her own beloved daughter. Alexis is a chick that I think I would enjoy hanging out with - I bet she’s got some doozies to tell on her mom. She’s exactly the kind of gal that I hung out with in high school and college - my sister hated almost all of my friends because she thought they were snooty. Alexis comes across as cool and aloof and snooty, but I’m thinking she’s got a wicked sense of humor about her and that she is anything but aloof. I think she’s shy and grew up with an overbearing mother.

Oh, and the gem from yesterday’s show was Martha’s comment that her husband left her over a gingerbread house. Anyone see that? Hilarious.

It’s a terrible show, really. But I like it.