I wanted to check with Beau before I posted this. He gave the green light.

It sort of started on Mother’s Day. The lunch conversation was about general things and then Mom asked Beau, “So, Beau, what’s your favorite kind of vacation destination?” Inwardly I was chuckling, thinking that she was angling for possible honeymoon ideas. Turns out I was not the only one wondering about that because later that afternoon he asked if that was what she was asking. And then ECD asked if that was what she was asking. I asked her about that on Sunday and Dad laughed and said he thought that was what she was asking, too. Hilarious. She insists it was not.

Then this past Sunday Mom, Dad, and I were at lunch and Dad and I are sitting in the booth while Mom is in the restroom.

DAD: So...is it serious?

ME: Yep, it’s serious.

And I thought that would be the extent of it. But no…

We’re eating a little later (this is a rough paraphrase of the general conversation - at this point most of the specifics are gone from my memory):

MOM: I was thinking that New Year’s Eve Eve would be a good date.

ME: A good date for what?

MOM: Your wedding.

*sigh*

ME: I’m not getting married in 2005.

DAD: But think about the tax break you guys would get for the year by getting married on December 30.

ME: I’m not getting married in 2005.

MOM: That’s a Friday and an evening wedding would be really nice. People would be able to come because of the Christmas holidays, but it wouldn’t interfere with Christmas or Mare-Bear’s wedding.

*See, Mare, Mom’s got your back!*

MOM: And Jaynee could wear the bridesmaid dress from Mare’s wedding.

ME: I’m not getting married in 2005.

That’s not to say that wedding details weren’t discussed. I’m a chick and I have had my dream wedding planned in my head for years, although the longer I remained single the dream became some distant fantasy. I said that a spring wedding would be nice. One of the things we talked about was the new church building - the pros and cons (the main con being the modernity of it and the color scheme of the carpet and wood and the layout of the auditorium). I kidded that maybe the bridesmaids dresses could be navy blue and Mom said, “And you could use white poinsettias.”

ME: Wait, you’re still on December?

To which my Dad belly laughed.

I am not planning to get married in 2005.

I have this horrible (and equally wonderful) feeling that I may just eat those words.

More below…

MUCH, MUCH LATER: Thanks to OTB, for the Jam-lanche. Thanks also to everyone who has commented so enthusiastically. We are overwhelmed with your well wishes.

All viewpoints are welcome. Please keep your comments profanity free. Do not flame others. HTML links will not work. Please just post any links as is in your comment.

You must answer the captcha question in order for your comment to post. If you don't know the answer, let me know. I may or may not give it to you.

I reserve the right to delete and/or edit objectionable comments. Be nice and have fun!




1. Now all the parents can get together to plan vacation destinations for you two. Hee. 

   

   Posted by princess jami  on  05/17/05  at  11:57 AM

2. Holy. Crap.  :thud:

   [ed. *trying to get the smiley to work* - weird. I’ll have to load it at home later.] :wall:

   Posted by Jaynee  on  05/17/05  at  12:02 PM

3. I have a feeling more than vacation planning will take place.

   Posted by  on  05/17/05  at  12:03 PM

4. Jaynee, I don’t have the thud dude from your blog. But that is hilarious.

   You want me to link to him for you? I don’t want to leech your bandwidth.

   Posted by  on  05/17/05  at  12:04 PM

5. You should get married in 2005 - You really should…
   Apart from the tax deductions as per your Dad *lol*. 
   Apart from the bridesmaid dress Mz. J will have left over from my wedding on the 3rd (its always a fabulous feeling when a bridesmaid can actually wear the dress TWICE - TWICE?!!!!)
   Its a beautiful time of year.

   I heartily concur with your Mom and Dad and anyone else who agrees with a nice December Wedding.  Its a beautiful time of year....

   Oh the fun you’ll both have *sighing in bliss* for you all and still laughing over your Dad’s tax deduction remark.....

   Posted by  on  05/17/05  at  12:04 PM

6. that should read:

   :jen needs to steal thud icon from Cootiehog so that I can use it in this instance:

   And I thought you always wanted a winter wedding?  At least, I remember that from when we were teenagers mooning over Scott Baio in Tiger Beat magazine.

   please note:  That was merely a joke.  I never mooned over Scott Baio. I was more of a Rick Springfield girl.  And Christopher Atkins.  Not that I saw “Blue Lagoon” as a kid - my first rated R movie was “Psycho II” in the early 80s.  But I knew about Christopher Atkins and loved his curly blond hair.  But never Scott Baio.

   Posted by Jaynee  on  05/17/05  at  12:05 PM

7. Oh and “Mom”, thanks for having my back regarding your scheduling of dates - ‘preciate that tea lady !

   Posted by  on  05/17/05  at  12:06 PM

8. Um, that was Shaun Cassidy. I never mooned over Scott Baio.

   Heading over to steal the link for the thud dude…

   Posted by  on  05/17/05  at  12:07 PM

9. Hmmm, I can’t remember my password into the host cp. I’ll have to upload him at home later. Or send me the direct link and I’ll link him until I get home.

   Posted by  on  05/17/05  at  12:13 PM

10. There’s always Vegas. I hear those drive-thru wedding chapels are pretty convenient.

    Posted by Jared  on  05/17/05  at  12:16 PM

11. Jared, I mentioned Vegas a few weeks ago got shot down.  That would have been FUN though.

    Posted by Jaynee  on  05/17/05  at  12:23 PM

12. I think it’s http://www.cootiehog.com/smilies/thud.jpg

    Posted by Jaynee  on  05/17/05  at  12:24 PM

13. Nope - not it.  http://www.cootiehog.com/smilies/thud.gif

    Posted by Jaynee  on  05/17/05  at  12:24 PM

14. I wish you guys nothing but the best!!!!
    Beware the taxman tho! My hunny and I thought the same thing *taxbreak* but were totally hosed and had to WRITE a CHECK to Uncle Sam for a couple of years until we bought our house!!
    Not that it would have changed our minds any.
    Many, MANY blessings to you both!!!!!!!!!!

    Posted by  on  05/17/05  at  12:47 PM

15. Oh, my, you really have opened yourself up for opinions all over the blogasphere now! You are a brave woman.  And Beau, you are the man, in more ways than one!

    Posted by  on  05/17/05  at  01:31 PM

16. Mom, I know. I think I’ve lost my mind.

    Jared, but if I got hitched in Vegas I wouldn’t be able to blog about it. What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas, remember?

    Cheri, thanks. I think Dad was referring to the elimination of the marriage penalty tax?

    Posted by  on  05/17/05  at  01:42 PM

17. I would like to add this little tidbit at this point, and I am not making this up, Jen.  When we were sitting at Carlos O’Kelley for the meeting with FCC women, and we met the women who was adopting the baby because she had given up on Mr. Right coming along, but then he did, I know the Lord spoke to my heart that day and said you would be married before the end of the year. Again, I am not kidding, and you’ll recall that I had no reason to believe that it was even the remotest possibility at that point.  He is so faithful!

    Posted by  on  05/17/05  at  01:43 PM

18. I am not planning to get married in 2005.

    Seriously, He is faithful. And thanks for your many years of prayers.

    Posted by  on  05/17/05  at  01:46 PM

19. Jen, just because you aren’t PLANNING on getting married in 2005 doesn’t mean it won’t happen.  What if you get engaged and then the ONLY DATE AVAILABLE is in December?  Huh?  Ever think of that, Miss Smartypants?

    Posted by Jaynee  on  05/17/05  at  01:55 PM

20. Oh, this is getting really good now!!

    As a tax accountant, I am happy to run the numbers for you both ways so you can make the best choice...December 31 or January 1st?  Don’t laugh, that’s how my husband and I chose our date...there’s a time for romance and then there is the reality of giving Uncle Sam too much money if you pick the wrong date (God will understand a wise, tax motivated decision). 

    Either way, I’m going on Travelocity right now to purchase tickets! 

    Congratulations on the pre-engagement announcement, you brave couple!! 

    Posted by  on  05/17/05  at  01:56 PM

21. Jen, we are so happy for you!

    And Vegas is a perfectly nice place to get married, LOL!

    Posted by Deb  on  05/17/05  at  01:57 PM

22. Matt and I had planned on our marriage for Spring/Summer 2006, but we eventually realised the only date we could get was for December 2005, a date that neither one of us had even remotely planned for.  However, Christmas is THE most favorite time of year for both of us, so we decided to go ahead and go for the earlier time (with a little gentle shooving from your adorable sister and husband and a few of our other friends *wink*) - Why wait, we both knew what we wanted and didn’t see the point in prolonging things.

    Today, we are both thrilled and merrily counting down the days.

    So my adice to you is “never say never” ...

    And where on earthly heavens is Denis S. ?!?!

    Posted by  on  05/17/05  at  02:04 PM

23. Yay for Vegas!  But’s I’m so glad we didn’t have to stay there.

    I concur on the taxes, unless it’s more complicated than that.  Plus it allows more time to potentially add to your set of tax exemptions, if you know what I mean, before 2005 is out.  You can take hundreds of pictures each week and put up “Your Daily Owen” posts.

    On another note, our original plan was to wait until summer, at least to move in together, even if we got married in the winter.  Waiting long in your current condition?  Not so much.  Been there.  Didn’t do that.

    Posted by Jay  on  05/17/05  at  02:05 PM

24. “But’s”?  Where’d that come from?

    Posted by Jay  on  05/17/05  at  02:07 PM

25. 2006.  Next year is 2006!

    Posted by Jay  on  05/17/05  at  02:08 PM

26. Obviously Denis has fallen into a snake-filled pit somewhere in the outer reaches of civilization since he hasn’t posted yet...Only Brady, Sean, Lucas and Rex can save him now.

    Oh wait, that’s “Days of Our Lives”.

    Posted by Jaynee  on  05/17/05  at  02:12 PM

27. And where is Beau in the midst of all this?!?

    

    I’m worried he’s fallen in the snake pit with Denis. 

    And why is my password “labor?” We don’t even know the wedding date yet.

    Posted by  on  05/17/05  at  02:23 PM

28. Hold on, folks. Here I am. Wow, He is faithful and I am ALWAYS right! Jen you can offer up apologies any time you like. It’s tough being right all the time. Jaynee will tell you that about me.

    As far as a December wedding goes, not sure we can make it. I think we’re doing Christmas at the S’s this year. It’s Thanksgiving with the R’s. You’ll have to move up the date to November. Beau, hurry up and propose.

    I was going to mention the lack of a marriage deduction. It’s actually a marriage penalty. But, Jen, that shouldn’t stop you from exchanging “I Do’s.”

    Hope the meeting with Beau’s parents goes well. Keep us informed of everything.

    So when are you planning on making Olivia and Duncan cousins again?

    Posted by  on  05/17/05  at  02:25 PM

29. I say it should be as soon as possible!

    Posted by Jay  on  05/17/05  at  02:31 PM

30. Ohhh Jen - You probably had no idea we would be all a chatter like this.

    Posted by  on  05/17/05  at  02:35 PM

31. Gwynne - that’s nothing - my captcha a minute ago was “death”!

    Posted by Jaynee  on  05/17/05  at  02:41 PM

32. Wow Denis - that was surprisingly...liteweight!  I expected more teasing than that! *lol* And listen, if my sister is getting married in December, I think you’re family will understand why we need to switch holidays this year…

    Posted by Jaynee  on  05/17/05  at  02:43 PM

33. that would be YOUR family YOUR family.  Sheesh.  Type much?

    Posted by Jaynee  on  05/17/05  at  02:43 PM

34. I was right on this too, Denis.  Just ask Beau.  Beau?  Where are you???

    I have had a “good feeling” about this from the very beginning...you two are absolutely meant for each other!  And before Denis and I can take any credit for being right, we must acknowledge that the power of prayer is tremendous!!

    Posted by  on  05/17/05  at  02:45 PM

35. Denis, that was pretty lightweight. I’m thinking I’m really in for it this weekend, though. And will you work on those baseball tickets for August, please?

    Listen up...we’re sure we want to get married, but we still need some time to work out those logistical issues I mentioned. And so we are not rushing to get married just yet.

    Beau’s working and blurking. He’s free to comment, but I think he may just prefer to keep silent here.

    Posted by  on  05/17/05  at  02:53 PM

36. Logistics are easy if you don’t care abou having a large or fancy wedding, and don’t mind possibly irritating the relatives by going small and speedy.

    And who needs to spend lots of money on a fancy wedding when there are so many better things to spend it on?

    OTOH, if your parents are volunteering to pay for this…

    Posted by Jay  on  05/17/05  at  03:01 PM

37. Smart man on keeping silent, Beau! No need to give the wolves more fresh meat! *lol* I agree with what some others have said though - why wait?  If you can get it done in six months, why wait a year?

    Logistics schmogistics.

    Posted by Jaynee  on  05/17/05  at  03:02 PM

38. Oh, Jen...I’m so happy for you! Congratulations!   

    Posted by susan b.  on  05/17/05  at  03:25 PM

39. Hi sweetie
    Hello every body.  
    Thanks for the kind thoughts.

    Yes, I’ve been trying to do some work, but I’ve been very distracted for some time.

    Hi sweetie

    Yes, logistics and not so much the wedding but jobs etc. .... Man plans but God does his will.  So we need to see God work out some things. (Isn’t there a Psalm that says that?  I can’t remember.) Prayers keep praying.

    Later sweetie.  

    Posted by  on  05/17/05  at  03:31 PM

40. Yes, Beau is smart...but it might be in his best interest to deblurk, to agree on the date if nothing else, before we send out the invitations.

    And Jen, don’t worry about the logistics.  We’ve got all that covered too. Can you tell we are all standing by, ready to help?

    Posted by  on  05/17/05  at  03:34 PM

41. Seriously- Gwynne is right.  Between all of those that care about you we’d have your wedding planned in about a month and it would be FABU!

    Posted by Jaynee  on  05/17/05  at  03:38 PM

42. Ahh, so I missed Beau...was he here?  Really??  Did anyone see him?  Did anyone hear a peep re: the date?  No?  Who wants to head up the jobs committee?

    And now my password is “europe” (sounds like a nice vacation destination for a honeymoon).

    Posted by  on  05/17/05  at  03:41 PM

43. Heck, a month would get you a traditional June wedding!  What could be better than that?  Certainly not December.

    If you must wait until winter, I’d say January 2 is an auspicious date.

    Posted by Jay  on  05/17/05  at  03:52 PM

44. Wow, 40+ comments.

    Hi Beau.

    Apparently ya’ll aren’t listening. Let me say it s-l-o-w-l-y...it’s not wedding logistics that are the issue. It’s life logistics:

    I live in Northern Virginia and have a job I love. He lives in SW Virginia and has a job he loves. There’s 90 minutes of driving between our current homes. It’s going to take a little time and prayer to figure out how to blend our two lives into one. Neither one of us is prepared to set a wedding date until we know that the blending has at least started to take shape. And he hasn’t officially proposed to me yet!

    Patience, friends, patience. Please.

    Posted by  on  05/17/05  at  04:03 PM

45. Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy.  Forget what has been said about the(se) parents of the bride being the ones to put the pressure on. Jen, you can take it all back what you were saying and thinking about us on Sunday.  Our comments were nothing compared to the imput of your siblings/friends! Sheesh!

    Posted by  on  05/17/05  at  04:04 PM

46. Mom, I never expected this level of response, to be honest. It’s a little overwhelming. Sweet, though.

    Posted by  on  05/17/05  at  04:07 PM

47. Are 45 comments a record?

    Posted by  on  05/17/05  at  04:07 PM

48. Hey, at least you didn’t write about Gatorade, the sports drink that is a color combination of much yellow and a little blue.

    Posted by Jay  on  05/17/05  at  04:13 PM

49. Seriously, though, I can relate to the life logistics aspect.  It’s far more important than anything about actually marrying.  Heck, you could marry any time and figure out the living and working arrangements later, but it would be weird not to have it coincide more closely.

    In our case, there was no middle ground.  You two might have some hope of moving somewhere commutable to both jobs.  Deb had no special attachment to her job, and in fact planned to move in several months if at all possible anyway.  I just meant moving sooner, and not to Florida or a state immediately adjacent to the panhandle.  Except for the possibility of both packing up and moving elsewhere, she decided it was up to her.  This was made all the more so by the fact I have a business, not merely a job I can up and leave.  I could leave the business (which would effectively mean closing it because neither of my partners could or would take over my role), but I would need somewhere between 3 and 6 months to do so, it would be scary, and that leaves me in an unusual position as far as trying to find a subsequent job (as opposed to the more normal hunting for a job, landing one, giving two weeks notice, and starting the new one).

    Relative economic conditions also made it more sensible for her to move here and get a job (the original plan).

    So I definitely understand that angle!  Even if it won’t stop me from egging you on mercilessly…

    Heh… the word is “children.”

    Posted by Jay  on  05/17/05  at  04:25 PM

50. Yes, we’re listening...the job of the jobs committee will be to find one of you a new job...we’re talking about logistics, generally...we’ve got it ALL covered...really...with a little prayer.

    Okay, okay, okay...now my password is “force” and I know we’re all being a little pushy, but it’s cuz we can’t wait to see the tax exemptions. 

    Blessings!

    May God’s light upon your path and provide

    Posted by  on  05/17/05  at  04:32 PM

51. Are you going to divide the church into Republicans and Democrats? I think that makes more sense than the groom and bride’s sides. I don’t mind sitting alone representing the right-thinking Americans.

    I’ll work on those tickets for August. I totally forgot about that. Thanks for the reminder.

    Does Beau want kids? And I don’t mean mine, although a week of babysitting by you and Beau would be nice to start. Also good experience for when little Matilda is born.

    “Oh, I don’t want to get married. I don’t need a man. I like being single, staying home and watching “24” by myself on Tuesday nights.” Is it on that night? Now all of a sudden she’s preparing wedding invites.

    Jake, did Beau ask you permission yet? You can tell us that, right? E-mail me. Jen, you’d like to know.

    Beau, you’re not only getting a wife, you’ll be getting a television or two as well.

    Jen, you still have time to pretend the M word stands for Mets.

    So where are you thinking about for a honeymoon? If you want to move to the great Garden State, I can sell you a wonderful home. The Land of a Thousand Diners.

    Posted by  on  05/17/05  at  04:45 PM

52. Congrats, Jen! 

    Posted by Dave J  on  05/17/05  at  05:12 PM

53. Denis - now *that* is the comment I expected from you earlier. That is stinkin’ funny.

    I love the name Matilda for my second niece. Are you making an announcement? Mare-bear may kill you if that’s the case.

    Denis, you might be sitting alone on the Left side of the church if I separated the guests that way.

    Beau was sweet to try to watch some TV with me last weekend. Unfortunately it was at 10pm on Saturday night when nothing good is on. And all my regular shows are getting ready to end their seasons, so that would have been tough.

    Gwynne, thanks for your enthusiasm. And your prayers.

    Jay, we’re just beginning the discussion of options. I wish it were more clear cut like your situation with Deb was. For us it isn’t ... yet. I’m trusting God to lead us.

    And Gatorade is yellow.

    Posted by  on  05/17/05  at  06:18 PM

54. You know, Beau could always pop the question in the comment section!  That could be a first…

    Posted by Mark  on  05/17/05  at  07:35 PM

55. He’s not that bloggy. You mean no other blogger has proposed in the comments yet?

    Posted by  on  05/17/05  at  07:59 PM

56. After you get all the fiddling life details straight you could set the date as the first anniversary of your first date.

    You wouldn’t want to do what we did and make it the second anniversary of the first date. It sounds like that would your friends and family way too itchy. What ever happens, happens.

    By the way that first date between my wife and I was a quarter century ago this last weekend. My how time flys.

    Posted by  on  05/17/05  at  08:05 PM

57. Thomas, that’s not a bad idea! *sound of idea being filed* And that would make it 2006.

    Congrats on the success and longevity of your marriage.

    Posted by  on  05/17/05  at  08:07 PM

58. Well, apparently, I don’t always use verbs or punctuation, but I’m glad you got the gist of what I meant in post #50(???). Wow!  And to think you started the morning with “Nothing.”

    Thanks to you and Beau for putting up with us today.

    Off to pray for jobs, living arrangements and other logistics…

    Posted by  on  05/17/05  at  08:26 PM

59. How did I miss this????!

    congratulations (in advance) to you and Beau.

    (I actually proposed to my wife in a BBS email back in April of 1993 - waaaaaay before blogs.)

    Posted by Jon  on  05/17/05  at  09:00 PM

60. This post was great… especially all the commments. 

    Congrats on getting things out in the open and good luck with whatever the plans are for you two in 2005 and beyond.

    Posted by  on  05/18/05  at  07:03 AM

61. Thanks, all.

    Posted by  on  05/18/05  at  09:26 AM

62. Holy moly. Mazel tov! Please, please, PLEASE keep us posted on developments.

    Posted by Dave  on  05/18/05  at  09:32 AM

63. Hey, how come you are telling Jen she can name her kid Matilda - you know how much I love that name.  I can’t believe you gave it away.

    And no - no announcement on this end.  I am pregnant-free as of the moment.

    Jen, do what I did - take the bull by the horns and just MOVE.  Both of you move to Staunton, VA - he can continue teaching where he is (30 minutes away) and you can get a job in C’ville which is only 30 minutes away.  Makes sense to me…

    Posted by Jaynee  on  05/18/05  at  10:04 AM

64. From comment #48

    “Hey, at least you didn’t write about Gatorade, the sports drink that is a color combination of much yellow and a little blue.”

    Jay, that’s just sad. I worry about you, man.

    Jen - you better let me and Jared color coordinate the wedding.

    Here’s the real question: What color does Beau think Gatorade is

    [Bill closes his eyes and crosses his fingers “please say green please say green please say green please say green"]

    [ed. - Beau, The Gatorade Post is where you’ll get a clue what we’re talking about.]

    Posted by Bill  on  05/18/05  at  10:04 AM

65. Sad that I brought it up?  Or sad that I said it was green in such a roundabout way?

    Posted by Jay  on  05/18/05  at  10:19 AM

66. What’s funny is that I laughed when I saw the gatorade reference - we actually rehashed that conversation in my house a couple weeks ago!

    Posted by Jaynee  on  05/18/05  at  10:24 AM

67. At least Matilda is unusual.  That’s a good thing in a name.  On the other hand, people might say “you named her Matilda?  Waltz up with that!”

    Or not.

    We haven’t settled on a boy name yet for when we have a brother for Sadie.  That means Jen has ample opportunity to prosyletize Owen and/or Lucas…

    We had a name picked, but we’re not sure it works anymore, and might seem too “cute” alongside Sadie.  Oh well.

    Posted by Jay  on  05/18/05  at  11:20 AM

68. We planned our December wedding in about 5 months.  You guys have way more time than that!  (I know, I know, logistics.  I’m just saying...)

    Posted by  on  05/18/05  at  11:40 AM

69. Again, it’s not the wedding planning that is the issue - Mom and I have already started putting our heads together.

    And it’s not as easy as me just quitting my job and moving. I have a good job that I’ve worked hard for and I’m in line for a promotion in the next couple of months - I’m not ready to quit that yet. And he’s committed to teaching at JMU for the forseeable future. So we need to keep praying that God will clear a path, close and open some doors…

    And I’m not taking Matilda, so it’s all yours, Jaynee. There are no plans for children yet.

    Posted by  on  05/18/05  at  11:47 AM

70. How about a Disney wedding? 

    I know, I know…

     
    (running to hide before Jen hits me)

    “provide” is the captcha of the day...that’s a good sign. 

    Posted by  on  05/18/05  at  11:58 AM

71. Jay - was the name Hawkins or something?

    Mare-Bear planned her wedding in about a month and now has to wait months and months for it to actually take place.

    HEE HEE HEE HEE! My captcha is “planning”!!!

    Posted by Jaynee  on  05/18/05  at  12:24 PM

72. Now that would be funny!

    Posted by Jay  on  05/18/05  at  12:27 PM

73. “you named her Matilda?  Waltz up with that!”

    Jay, that was pretty funny. :)

    Posted by princess jami  on  05/18/05  at  03:11 PM

74. “Sad that I brought it up?  Or sad that I said it was green in such a roundabout way?”

    Oh, I thought you were saying it was yellow. Most dudes would have just looked and said “yep, that’s freakin’ green”.

    I thought another good man had gone down. That’s what made me sad.

    I now see that you are still on the path of truth. Well done, dude.

    Posted by Bill  on  05/18/05  at  03:29 PM

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