I’m not going into a long explanation, but I just had a conversation with a deputy who recently had training related to the Adam Walsh law. What he learned is creepy stuff generally, but for parents it is truly horrifying. As a result I’m going to:

1. Temporarily remove access to all photos of Jesse both here and at WC. I recommend that if you post pictures of your children online that you do the same. Predators don’t just look at the sick stuff, but they download and save pictures of all children that they can find online.

2. Inquire about the application/reference process that is required of childcare volunteers at my church.

3. Homeschool when Jesse gets to school age - I’ve mentioned this before, but this is now set in stone.

4. Never hire a male to babysit. Sounds descriminitory? I don’t care - the folks who did the training said the number of male childcare workers who were actually predators was alarming. If your kids are in a daycare with male childcare providers, consider moving your children to another facility.

This one makes me sad for the men who genuinely care for little ones with no nefarious ideas. But I’d rather be safe than sorry. And don’t think that I won’t watch the females closely, too. I’ll reference check EVERYONE.

5. Carefully check the references for any coaches he has in the future. Most are great, I’m sure. But I’m not taking any chances.

There’s other stuff, but I don’t have the time to elaborate. It makes me sad and a little angry. For Jesse.

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1. I’d just like to say that the ONE female sex offender in my county?  WORKED IN A DAYCARE.  So yes, I think you are being a bit discrimnatory in your presumption that ONLY men should be feared.

   Posted by Jaynee  on  09/18/07  at  01:41 PM

2. Statistics go against male childcare workers, I’m afraid.

   I just did a search on the national sex offender registry for a bunch of random places. All men came up. When I see a bunch of women on the list, I’ll start the sex offender equality check.

   Posted by jen  on  09/18/07  at  02:26 PM

3. Umm ... it’s not only the males ...

   http://wnd.com/news/article.asp?ARTICLE_ID=47895

   Posted by Tony Rosen  on  09/18/07  at  03:19 PM

4. *sigh*

   I know that females molest children/minors too. However when more than 80-90% of the offenders are men? I’m watching the men in my son’s life very closely. I’ve said that I’ll be watching the women, too. But the men get a closer look.

   Posted by jen  on  09/18/07  at  03:38 PM

5. Jen, I’m with ya.

   I’m a stay at home dad, so if anyone should be knee-jerk defensive about the appearance of guys with little children, it would be me. But I am immediately suspicious of men doing childcare, men by themselves at the public pool, etc.

   I admit I’m a little paranoid. But I’d rather keep my girls safe than protect some stranger’s feelings.

   Posted by Jared  on  09/18/07  at  04:44 PM

6. Hmmm, you make a good point about men alone at the pool. Beau would go to the pool by himself to swim laps. I wonder if people wondered about him. Our new neighborhood doesn’t have a pool, so it won’t be an issue there. But it does make you wonder.

   Posted by jen  on  09/18/07  at  04:48 PM

7. Yeah. I’m not saying every dude by himself at the pool is a ped. I’m just saying it’s ok if I think they are.

   Kind of.

   What seriously creeps me out are the ones who come in jeans and shirts and sit around by the kiddie pool area.
   That is major creepy.

   A month or so ago I was there with the girls and some dude in business casual was going around asking families if he could take pictures of them. All of them said yes! And then he handed them a notebook and had them write information down in it.
   Now, I didn’t overhear what he was saying, but I’m assuming his story was that he would them mail them or email them the prints or whatever to see if they wanted copies.

   But, holy crap!
   These were men—husbands, fathers—who were letting some strange dude take photos of their families—wives, children—in their bathing suits and then getting their personal info.
   !!!!
   If this dude had approached me he would have been lucky to get away with just an earful.

   How stupid and naive did these dudes have to be? Why did no alarms go off? Or did they, but they just ignored it?

   Posted by Jared  on  09/18/07  at  05:18 PM

8. Jared, that is exactly what we were talking about this morning. The most alarming thing our deputy said was that the vast majority of peds are college educated with jobs and families. They don’t look like predators - they look like nice, ordinary guys. This is why kids trust them. And parent, too, apparently.

   Just yesterday when I was Wallyworld a guy asked if he could help me unload my cart. I was still wearing Jesse, so it wasn’t an easy task, but I thanked him politely and said I was fine. Now, I’m sure he was just a nice guy wanting to help, but I’m going to be careful. Not just for my own safety, but I’ve got this little guy to protect, too.

   I’ve gotten to the point where I don’t care if strangers think I’m rude. I’m going to be cautious about everyone no matter how benign they look. I’m sorry if that offends.

   Posted by jen  on  09/18/07  at  05:42 PM

9. Consider this - http://www.freep.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20070918/NEWS04/709180375&imw=Y

   You cannot be too careful with your children.

   Posted by jen  on  09/18/07  at  05:46 PM

10. That settles that ... I’m not letting a federal employee watch my children

    

    Come on, you knew it would be coming ... lol

    Posted by Tony Rosen  on  09/19/07  at  10:33 AM

11. Even though this is kinda long, Jen told me to go ahead and post it:

    
    When I was in my early 20’s (early 1980’s) I became a psychiatric technician. I worked a part-time job at the facility where I was receiving my training, which is the world’s largest prison hospital for the criminally insane ... on a ward for the mentally disturbed sex offenders (MDSOs). At the time the thought was that there was hope for these types of criminals to be rehabilitated. Even after intensive therapy the recidivism rate was in the high 80 percentile and those were only the ones who were caught. And the number of children they EACH molested was around ONE HUNDRED.

    On the ward we had an Asst. State District Attorney from San Fransicso, a Boy Scout leader (camping trips), educated, uneducated, rich, poor, black, white, young, old, cute, ugly, and even a pyschiatric technician. Whether educated or not they were skilled manipulators and truly do appear “as the man (or boy) next door”.

    I quit dating when I was a single mom because I was never sure if the guy was dating me or just getting close to my kids, I never had a male baby-sitter, suspected any man out walking by himself (voyeurism), never let strangers take pictures of my kids, don’t have pictures of my grand-kids on the internet, and as small as our church is, we have a sexual awarness plan in place and have windows in all classroom doors. As Lt. Clouseau said in the Pink Pather movie “I suspect no one, I suspect everyone.”!

    I usually make the grandkids go to the restroom together, make sure they call me as soon as they get to a friend’s home, know the parents (actually that doesn’t make much of a difference though), and don’t let men talk to them alone. The computer is in the livingroom and the kids will never have one in their bedrooms. They are not to leave the house (even to play outside in the backyard) without telling an adult. They are never to go out a door at a store without a caretaker.

    It makes me nervous when my daughter has her and her husband’s friends spend the night after a late night out (or in!). Some are men who have known them since birth and I still watch very closely how they interact with the girls. And I hate that I feel I must do so, but I must.

    I also have taught my grandkids modest dress, what is appropriate behavior, “safe” touch vs. “unsafe” touch, and that they are safe to tell me or their parents ANYTHING without repercussions. They have been taught that if anything happens it is not their fault but the fault of the other person - no matter what they may feel or think.

    Even with all that, the kids are still innocent and naive and last summer we had an incident and one grand-daughter in particular thought that the man was “just being nice”. Which he may have been, or maybe not, so I had to teach her about the “grooming behaviors” of child molesters.

    It’s also important that your children know how even older kids can take advantage of them.

    Wherever kids are is where the molesters are.

    I hate to be so paranoid but the destruction of a life perpetrated by these scum is life long and the victims are never the same and have many hurdles to overcome for the rest of their lives.

    Posted by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address)  on  09/21/07  at  03:30 PM

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