The following is the funniest thing my boss has forwarded to me E-VAH!

For some time many of us have wondered just who is Jack Schitt? We find ourselves at a loss when someone says, ‘You don’t know Jack Schitt!’

Well, thanks to my genealogy efforts, you can now respond in an intellectual way.

Jack Schitt is the only son of Awe Schitt. Awe Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, married O. Schitt, the owner of Needeep N. Schitt, Inc. They had one son, Jack.

In turn, Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt. The deeply religious couple produced six children: Holie Schitt, Giva Schitt, Fulla Schitt, Bull Schitt, and the twins Deep Schitt and Dip Schitt.

Against her parents’ objections, Deep Schitt married Dumb Schitt, a high school dropout. After being married 15 years, Jack and Noe Schitt divorced. Noe Schitt later married Ted Sherlock, and because her kids were living with them, she wanted to keep her previous name. She was then known as Noe Schitt Sherlock.

Meanwhile, Dip Schitt married Loda Schitt, and they produced a son with a rather nervous disposition nam ed Chicken Schitt. Two of the other six children, Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt, were inseparable throughout childhood and subsequently married the Happens brothers in a dual ceremony. The wedding announcement in the newspaper announced the Schitt-Happens nuptials. The Schitt-Happens children were Dawg, Byrd, and Horse.

Bull Schitt, the prodigal son, left home to tour the world. He recently returned from Italy with his new Italian bride, Pisa Schitt.

NOW when someone says, ‘You don’t know Jack Schitt,’ you can correct them.

Sincerely,
Crock O. Schitt

I’ve still got tears of mirth in my eyes.

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1. Now THIS is the Corona-chugging, edgy Jen that we Thinklings remember from back in the beginning of the blog days.

   Posted by Bill  on  05/14/08  at  04:54 PM

2. Heh.

   Wait. What are you saying?

   

   Posted by jen  on  05/14/08  at  04:56 PM

3. Who knew Jack had such a large family? And I know all of them!

   Posted by Gwynne  on  05/14/08  at  05:05 PM

4. Oh MY.  Can’t wait to finally meet you in August...I’m cracking up AND forwarding to my sister…

   Posted by  on  05/15/08  at  06:22 PM

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