Wednesday, July 16, 2003

I’m putting out the call for help. LW and I are ready to do another practical joke on The Marshal or some other management type in the office, but we’re out of ideas. So if you have a good practical joke, explain it in the comments section.

Some guidelines:

1. It must be legal (we are law enforcement, after all)

2. It must be clean (nothing that involves potty humor or sexual stuff, this is
the workplace)

3. It must not cost too much money (we prefer no cost at all)

4. It must not involve humiliation of the victim (we want to keep our jobs)

I think I’ve covered all the bases. I look forward to seeing what you’ve got!

LATER (9:45pm):  As of this update, there are four suggestions, two of which we’ve already done (Tony and Carlos). The other two have potential, although given the computer issues we already have, I’m hesitant to initiate those on these particular people. However, I will keep them in mind for my own private prank on LW. Heh.

I noted on my post about the Baseball All Star Game last night that the artist was lip syncing the National Anthem and that I’m a purist about that - it should be sung live.

There are obvious reasons to have the anthem pre-recorded:

1. It’ll sound better over the PA system - and you have the option of full band or orchestra with background vocals without having them set up on the field.

2. It reduces errors by the singer such as forgetting the words or singing flat.

3. It minimizes the echo effect of the stadium PA system.

As one who has sung the anthem at sporting events several times (none for a pro team, yet), in several types of venues, I can sympathize with singers who have forgotten the words or been screwed up on the timing because of the weird echo in a larger stadium.

There was a time in college when Kirby and I were to sing the anthem before a basketball game. He panicked that he would forget the words, so there we stood in the middle of the court with a hymnbook so that he would have the words handy. I was mortified and refused to hold the hymnbook.

Anyway, back to the main point. I know that Whitney and Faith pre-recorded their SuperBowl renditions of the anthem, and I admit that they were great. But the Dixie Chicks sang it live for this year’s SuperBowl and they rocked. So it can be done well.

I think the problem is that the people they select aren’t really suited to sing that song in that kind of environment. The chick that “sang” it for the All Star Game last night - I had never heard of her. She’s probably some recording company favorite that they’re trying to promote, so she gets the gig. But because she doesn’t sound that great live, they pre-record the anthem so that she won’t suck on national TV. Because the one they had last year (Anastasia?), if I’m remembering correctly, was terrible on many levels - she mangled the words and just generally sounded bad. Actually, now that I think of it, I think Anastasia sang it for one of the World Series games, but my point holds - she was awful.

LT Smash answers reader mail and links to others in the Sandbox who are blogging. I know I plan to give the ones I haven’t read yet a visit.

Patty has an excellent post on the Bright™ meme. She said some of what I have still been thinking, but couldn’t figure out how to articulate.

Christians can be damned annoying. Their belief in God and what happens to you in the after-life compels them to convince you that you don’t want to spend eternity in hell and should believe in God. Atheists and agnostics and people who really just don’t give a s**t want to be left alone. However, it would be a pretty poor Christian who cared so little about you and their own beliefs if they didn’t try to convert you at all.

For an atheist or agnostic, convincing someone to believe as they do is an argument to be won by intellect, it’s a matter of pride, of showing an ignorant supernaturalist why their beliefs are just so much vapor. Convincing the Christian to become a non-believer has no consequences except to make one less person in the world that doesn’t believe “in ghosts or elves or the Easter Bunny - or God.” (Dennett’s article)

For the Christian, to convert a soul to God is to bring the person to their completion. The Christian belief is that a convert becomes united with God for all time, and they become complete. Now, believe that or not, that’s what a proselytizing Christian thinks, believes and is acting upon. If you get someone trying to convert you that says they are elect, better than you, more moral, etc., etc. they aren’t a good Christian. A good Christian is always, first and foremost, humble.

I subscribe more to the St. Francis school of conversion: Preach the gospel, use words if necessary.

To the dude in the Expedition:

1. If you need to pull over, please don’t use the beginning of the exit ramp, you’ll be blocking traffic. Especially during the rush hours.

2. If you must pull over at or near an exit ramp, please move your huge vehicle to the shoulder.

3. There’s a button with a red triangle on the dashboard inside your car. When pushed it turns on some blinking lights on the outside of your car that alert other drivers that you’re not planning to move any time soon. Those lights are called “hazards” (at least that’s the common term for them). The reason they’re called hazards is so that you and the other drivers avoid the “hazard” of an accident. It is stronly advised that you push that button.

This guy wasn’t broken down as far as I could tell. He was just parked at the entrance of the exit ramp to the Fairfax County Parkway (from Route 50). He was writing something.

I’m finding the Brooke Alexander teasers on Fox News Channel to be a little weird and annoying. Anyone else?

I have one piece of advice to all aspiring actors, actresses, singers, dancers, pageant contestants, etc.

If, while you’re still “aspiring” to be famous but you’re not yet famous, you think that you’re not going to want those nudie shots of you to be made public and sold to the highest bidder when you are famous, then don’t have the nudie shots taken in the first place.

Welcome home. I figured when I didn’t get a call last night that everything was OK. I look forward to hearing all about your adventures in Hot-lanta. Dad and I missed you.

Tuesday, July 15, 2003

Does it strike anybody else as odd that the organist at the Baseball All-Star Game would be playing showtunes while the teams are announced?

“Tonight” from West Side Story
“When You Wish Upon a Star”

What’s up with that?

LATER: She’s lip syncing the National Anthem. I’m a purist on this. It needs to be done live. Wussies…

Next week I get rid of the dial up. I was online, responding to email, and I got disconnected about 45 minutes into my original (second) dial-in. What the? It then took me the better part of a half hour to get another good connection - four dial in attempts. I almost gave it up for tonight.

I’m so ready for this to be over…

Seriously, if you haven’t visited Clarity Amidst Chaos, then you must.

This post, (called from the bluebird of happiness), about depression is great.

Bryan, you’re very welcome for the linkage - I’m happy to send people your way anytime. You’re entertaining, enlightening, encouraging, etc. (Nice alliteration, huh?)

To my many blogging friends in Texas:

If you’re in the path of Claudette, be careful! I’m praying for everyone’s safety…

It was a good commute, so no complaining today. Yay!

Funny thing (to me at least)...I was sitting at a stop light and this huge Chevy Tahoe pulled up behind me. I peaked in my rearview (I’ve been rear-ended a couple of times, so I’m still a little paranoid about that) and I had to laugh a little.

The lady reminded me of the older friend of Mary’s (Cameron Diaz) in There’s Something About Mary. She had this hee-yoog blonde hairdo, bleached and straw-like. She had these fire engine red acrylic talons on the ends of her bony fingers. She was tanned to that fine leathery shade of bronze with a scrawny neck that I was amazed could hold up her big head, until I realized that the hair made her head look deceptively large. And dangling from her ruby red lips was a cigarette with about an inch of ash clinging precariously from the unburned portion. That reminded me of the grandmother from Sixteen Candles (you know, when she making the pancakes and the other grandmother was holding the spatula under the ash to catch it).

Cracked me up...is that unkind of me?

OK, I’ve done a little more reading, including the Brights™ FAQ page. There’s a list of things they say identify who a Bright™ is and their goals for the movement. One jumped out at me:

To have the noun, Bright, in wide use as an identity label among those persons who are free of the supernatural and mystical. [bold emphasis is mine]

That they consider themselves free of faith (because while they use terms like “supernatural” and “mystical,” what they’re really talking about is faith; which is to believe that which you cannot see) makes me very sad.

At first I was a little perturbed, because to have secular people (which is how I think of those who aren’t spiritual (I hate the term religious)) name themselves “bright” gave the arrogant idea that those of us who are spiritual must not be bright. And that’s definitely a hot button for me - the idea that people of faith have checked their intellect at the door of the church to blindly follow God like idiotic lemmings. When in actual fact, many most people of faith (and I’m speaking mostly of Christians, since I am one and that’s my perspective on life and faith), especially the ones I know personally, are very smart and have used the brain that God gave them to critically think about what they believe, why they believe it, and how their beliefs fit into their world.

I’ve read in several places in the blogosphere a clear and distinctive disdain for Christians and yes, it bothers me. And I’m woman enough to admit that I’ve held similar disdain for those who don’t believe in God. For that I’m sorry, and I will try not to harbor that disdain again, because it’s insulting, unloving, and arrogant. And that is not how I, as a follower of Christ, am to be towards those who don’t follow Christ.

Which brings me to my original statement - this whole thing makes me sad. 

Monday, July 14, 2003

One of my new favorite blogs is Bryan McAnally’s Clarity Amidst Chaos. He’s a great writer, witty and insightful. What’s fun is that he’ll hook me with some really funny story and then he takes me on a spiritual journey. He’s gifted at using everyday life examples to point to Scripture or how we, as Christians, should could be living, growing, walking our talks.

Today he posted this (i think they’re on to me if permalinks aren’t working), which is just purely funny.

Then he posted this (quasimodian tragedy if permalinks aren’t working), which blew me away.

Thanks, Bryan.