1.  She works in the courthouse but not for our agency.

2.  Our agency has a new deputy. He started in our office about a month to six weeks ago. He’s from another region in the US and we think he may have a girlfriend back home, although he’s made it sound like it’s close to over.

3.  KR saw him in the main hall and asked LW and I about him. We asked him and others and got the above info.

4.  LW and I went to him - asked him if he would be interested in being set up with someone. He perked up immediately, so we told him about KR.

5.  Next day, KR was in our office eating lunch with us when he passed by with his lunch. A couple of minutes later he came in the room and sat down near KR. For the next 20-30 minutes they chatted with each other (and only each other).

6.  That weekend, LW had a party and invited both KR and him to attend. Both did, and spent a long time chatting.

7.  Following Monday, KR in our office again for lunch. He comes in again before heading up to court to chat with her.

**Now at this point it’s been about a week since we asked if he would be interested. No phone numbers have been swapped. No asking out on dates has occurred.

A week or so passes with little contact - things are busy in both offices and lunches are scattered.**

8.  Yesterday KR came to our office to have lunch. KR and I were sitting next to each other at the HUGE table. He comes into the room, grabs the chair BEHIND me, where he sits to talk to KR, and only KR, before heading up for court. He informs her that he’s leaving on Saturday for a 3 week detail out west (think HOT, think fires, think desert).

9.  KR and I go out for lunch and she asks me for his phone number. She wants to call him before he goes out of town for three weeks, to make sure he knows she’s interested. She was worried that he would lose whatever interest he had for her in those three weeks.

**Now here’s where I gave her my advice.**

I refused to give it to her (partly because I am not at liberty to give out the phone numbers of our deputies, but I didn’t tell her that).

A.  I told her that he was definitely interested as evidenced by his coming into the lunch room just to talk with her.

(She then said, “No, he came in to talk to everyone.”

I said, “He only talked to you.”

“Really?”

:sigh:)

B.  I told her that his interest probably wouldn’t change by the three weeks out west. He’ll be working 12 hours/7days a week. He’ll be too tired to do anything. There’s no partying going on on these details. He’ll work and sleep and that’s about it.

C.  I told her I thought he needed to ask for her number first. Yes, I’m old fashioned. No, I haven’t read The Rules.

D.  I told her that she didn’t want to seem too interested or desperate this early in the whatever-it-is-this-thing-is and that he needs to be the one to make the next move.

E.  I reminded her that he may have a girlfriend back home and that she needed to wait for him to pursue her (which it looks like he’s doing...slowly...which I think is good).

**She just came out of a bad situation, so she’s feeling a little insecure, I think. Plus she’s afraid of being alone. So that’s where I was coming from on the desperation comment.**

I think that’s about it. So, gentlemen, let me know if I gave her bad advice.