Friday, March 31, 2006

Psalm 139

1 O LORD, you have searched me
and you know me.

2 You know when I sit and when I rise;
you perceive my thoughts from afar.

3 You discern my going out and my lying down;
you are familiar with all my ways.

4 Before a word is on my tongue
you know it completely, O LORD.

5 You hem me in—behind and before;
you have laid your hand upon me.

6 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
too lofty for me to attain.

7 Where can I go from your Spirit?
Where can I flee from your presence?

8 If I go up to the heavens, you are there;
if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.

9 If I rise on the wings of the dawn,
if I settle on the far side of the sea,

10 even there your hand will guide me,
your right hand will hold me fast.

11 If I say, “Surely the darkness will hide me
and the light become night around me,”

12 even the darkness will not be dark to you;
the night will shine like the day,
for darkness is as light to you.

13 For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother’s womb.

14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.

15 My frame was not hidden from you
when I was made in the secret place.
When I was woven together in the depths of the earth,

16 your eyes saw my unformed body.
All the days ordained for me
were written in your book
before one of them came to be.

17 How precious to me are your thoughts, O God!
How vast is the sum of them!

18 Were I to count them,
they would outnumber the grains of sand.
When I awake,
I am still with you.

The second ultrasound revealed that our baby had not developed past the sixth week, was malformed, and had no cardiac activity. We are incredibly sad, of course, but I do believe that the Lord prepared me for this outcome after the initial readings on Wednesday. After a consultation with our OB, I opted to have surgery rather than wait or initiate a miscarriage. I didn’t think I could handle the wait and subsequent pain. I’m a “get things done” kind of gal. Honestly, none of the options were easy to consider, but being on this side of the surgery, I have to say I am glad that I made that decision.

I am doing fine - physically and emotionally. The surgery went well and I feel pretty much normal again, if a little sore and tired. I am grateful to have a normal appetite again, as well. As I said, we’re sad and I’m sure there will be moments or days when I just want to cry my eyes out with the loss. But I have a strong faith that God has something better for us and for that baby and so that helps to comfort.

I have the most wonderful husband in Beau. My love for him grows more deeply with each day and this process/crisis has drawn us together in a way that’s hard to explain. For only having known each other for a little over a year, we know each other so well and it is so clear that we were made for one another. I am thankful to have him in my life.

We’ve gotten a lot of great support from our families and our church small group. We were hesitant to know how to share the news with the small group that we had only just announced the pregnancy to. Their immediate concern and grief was humbling and their prayers for us sweet. We know that there are so many others who are praying for and with us at this time and we are unspeakably grateful.

So I’ll end this post with the thought that crossed my mind as we drove home from small group last night. I was trying to think how I would share the news on the blogs and I immediately thought of when we get to heaven. I’ve always looked forward to being greeted by Jesus and welcomed by his, “Well done, good and faithful servant.” Now I look forward to seeing our never been born first baby, whole and perfectly formed and grown, standing there as well, “Welcome home, Mom and Dad. I’ve been waiting to show you around.”

We will try again, so the p-blog will be on hiatus until I’m ready to announce Baby Speaks, Part Two.

[Cross posted at Whiny Complaints]

Thursday, March 30, 2006

I chose sleep last night instead of watching TAR live. That 10pm time slot is a killer for the pregnant lady.

I will try to watch it in the morning before I leave for my extra ultrasound appointment so that I can recap it for you later.

OK, here ya go. The title for this edition of The Race is “Maps are Your Friends.”

There’s a lot going on so there won’t be blogging for a bit. I did watch TAR this morning and plan a recap. And I’ll fill y’all in when I can on what’s happening, too. Sorry to be cryptic - it’s complicated.

Wednesday, March 29, 2006

Our Cake Lady brought in a cake for the folks with March birthdays. I wasn’t going to eat any, but I passed the room, saw it, was feeling good, so I got a piece.

Where I was slightly concerned that there might be a problem with the baby because I was feeling so good (see Whiny Complaints for explanation), I no longer have that concern because my queasiness is back in full force.

Sugar + Jen’s baby = Bad

Fortuntately, I have a part of my hamburger lunch leftover, so I’m going to reheat that to counter the sugar.

That is the official due date, although if you ask me I think it’s about a week too early. But what do I know?

There is a new post up at Whiny Complaints with an update post first prenatal visit.

There will be a new link for the p-blog soon. Thinkling Bill is installing his Blooware for me and I’ve offered to test it for him with the p-blog as guinea pig.

I have been away from computers all day. So I just checked my gmail account to find a message from one of the tech support geeks that I have communicated with at pMachine Hosting during my tenure with them. She wanted to let me know that they discovered that my blog was locked up again (it’s a long running problem with Apache that they can’t figure out because I’m the only one encountering it) and that they had “fixed” it and reminded me to upgrade Expression Engine, yadda yadda yadda.

Of course, I had no clue that things were broken. I love my webhost.

Tuesday, March 28, 2006

So I’ve been watching a lot more of the Food Network lately. Seems weird given my morning all day sickness, but I can look at food on TV where I can’t look at some foods in real life. I’m thinking it’s the smell and 3D factor. Who knows!

Anyway, I managed to catch all of the Chefography shows but the one about Emeril. I found Ina Garten‘s and Paula Deen‘s stories the most fascinating since they have no formal culinary training and yet they have amazing skills in the kitchen.

I’m also watching this season of The Next Food Network Star. I think it will come down to Guy and Nathan with Guy winning. At least he’s my pick so far.

There’s no need for me to recap last night’s 24. Dave Barry live blogged it brilliantly.

Since they’re saying The Circus™ could go to the jury tomorrow or Thursday, Beau has come to observe the proceedings today. And LW is in the area this week and there’s a happy hour tonight for her, so if I’m feeling up to going, we’ll go hang with folks after work for a bit.

For the newer readers, LW is my predecessor. She moved to Texas in late 2003 and our office’s fun factor left with her. She was my co-conspirator on some pranks we pulled on The Marshal/Director. Good times. It will be good to see her. She’s already promised to drink my one Corona since I can’t.

Monday, March 27, 2006

The pregnancy blog link.

I left the elevator this morning to find about 100 people standing in the foyer of the courthouse, waiting to get through security. I was loaded down with my purse, tote bag, lunch bag, and laptop and had to squeeze my way through people to get to my own special security pass through. I assume that these folks were here for The Show™, which is my name for the defendant taking the stand in his own defense. He threatened it last week, but I didn’t expect it today.

Anyway, Day One of The Show™ began today. I’m not on the jury, but I’m not sure he helped his case much.

And now for something a little more serious - the dust up at Patrick Henry College.

My friend Joan emailed me the link to this article.

Mar 23, 2006—A public debate at Patrick Henry College about whether the Bible is the only source of truth preceded the decisions by three professors and an instructor last week to tell school administration they would not return for another year.
Assistant Professor of Classics David C. Noe, Assistant Professor of History and Literature J. Kevin Culberson, Chairman of the Department of Government Robert Stacey and Instructor of Government Erik S. Root, all submitted letters indicating they would not return after the current school year, according to sources from the Purcellville college. Patrick Henry founder and President Michael Farris said the departures followed an “exchange of ideas” and a critique of an article Culberson and Noe wrote in the student newspaper The Source.

[...]

The article in question, titled “The Role of General Revelation in Education,” argues that sources outside of the Bible are needed for Christians to lead happy and productive lives.

“Christians may be inclined to accept this proposition when it comes to things like carpentry and the law,” the article states. “After all the Bible does not tell us how to fix a door jam or file a brief in appellate court. They are less inclined or sometimes refuse to accept this when it comes to matters of ethics and the nature of the soul. But while it is true that the Bible contains all we need to know for reconciliation with God, it does not include all the information we need to live happy and productive lives.”

Patrick Henry College’s Statement of Christian Philosophy states “God is the source of all truth, be it spiritual, moral, philosophical, or scientific. [ed. - emphasis mine]… Christian faith and genuine learning cannot be separated; neither is our Christian faith a mere addendum to the liberal learning process. Instead, our Christian faith precedes and informs all that we at Patrick Henry College study, teach and learn.”

What I find to be the point of contention is the distinction between the College’s Statement where they say “God is the source of all truth” and then later say that the Bible is the only source for that truth. The Statement doesn’t say “The Bible is the source of all truth,” which leads me to believe that other sources could be valid for revealing truth in addition to the Bible. But that’s my snap judgment.

Beau sent me the link to this blog discussion, which includes the thoughts of a few active and former students at PHC. Since he’s a candidate for one of the newly opened Government positions, he has an interest in how this will shake out and asked what I thought. I’m not sure I’m prepared to wade into these lofty waters beyond my above stated snap judgment. I’m sure each “side” has a valid and Biblical point. I guess what troubles me about the whole thing is that there seems to be little room for expanded thought or use of sources other than the Bible at PHC. I would like to think that a professor using Marx to point out the fallacies of that school of thought versus the Scriptures would be encouraged rather than discouraged, but I don’t know enough of the details of the dispute to know if this was what was occurring.

It is an interesting debate. What think you?

At some point late in the second half of yesterday’s game, I remember saying that if GMU beat UConn then surely Jesus would be returning. Little did I know that GMU would actually manage to beat the #1 seed and the team most expected to win the whole tournament. And no, Jesus did not return, so this win must be part of God’s plan for today.

Amazing game and very fun for those of us who live mere minutes from the campus.

Our pastor joked that the Fairfax City website on Friday noted the local Bingo game that night at 7:30pm. Apparently, getting to the Sweet 16 didn’t merit mention. It’s nice to see a link at the top of the page for the Final Four this time.

It was at about 7:30 or 8pm that we heard booms outside. It was fireworks over the campus, I’m thinking it was to signify the arrival of the team back home from their long trek to Washington, DC (about 25 miles away).

We plan to watch the game on Saturday, of course. Anyone know what time they play? I may have to schedule a long nap on that day.

Today is my birthday. I am officially 39 years old for the first time.

We have no plans for a large celebration because of my morning all day sickness. Sounds sad, but I’m totally fine with it.

My parents came over to the house yesterday afternoon, armed with a late lunch (chicken pot, chicken pot, chicken pot pie!) including a birthday pound cake (which I cannot eat yet because sugar increases my nausea), presents, and a winning spirit for the Patriots.

My mother is a servant and gifted me with help in cleaning my house since I’ve not been feeling quite up to that chore and Beau has been taking care of me. Beau and I did manage to clean up the main floor for them, but Mom helped with a few other things like changing the sheets on the guest bed (Beau’s Sis is coming to visit this weekend), starting laundry, cleaning up the kitchen. She’s heading over again today to fold the now clean laundry, change the sheets on my bed, and clean the kitchen (I started gagging when I was trying to clean up after preparing snacks for my day and had to leave it).

They also gifted me/us with a lovely tall dresser (looks like a lingerie dresser) for the baby’s room. They also gave me a lovely teacup and saucer with a cherry blossom motif that is quite pretty.

We watched the George Mason/Connecticut game and enjoyed a nice afternoon together.

Thanks for the great gifts, Mom and Dad. And for the help around the house, Mom. Love you guys!

I was only at the office for a short time on Friday morning - to gather some things to take home for working during the weekend - before I headed back home to go to the memorial service for our friend at church.

Our church holds about 600 people at a time and the auditorium was about 3/4 full for the memorial. Quite a testament to a quiet lady who had such a huge impact on countless lives, not only in our area, but around the world. She loved Jesus and others and embodied The Great Commandment from the testimony of those who eulogized her life - including her three children, three of her 9 siblings, and her ex-husband. She leaves a legacy of faith in her children and the people whose lives she touched in her 50 odd years of life.

While there was the expected sorrow of her loss in our community, there was an equal joy and celebration that she is with the Lord today. The best part was that our pastor boldly proclaimed the Gospel and invited folks to consider and make a decision about their own faith or lack of it. I’d say easily a dozen or more people indicated that they were choosing that day to become a follower of Jesus Christ.

On Saturday morning, I had worship band practice, which went pretty well. After that I went home to take a nap and then I worked a bit in the afternoon while watching Food TV. Yesterdays services at church were great, as always. Very much a blessing.