Lintefiniel Musing...formerly Jen Speaks!

Wednesday, August 20, 2003

Trackbacks

I’m stumped on how to make the whole thing work in pMachine. I’ve tried looking in the pM forums, but the entries I want to look at are for Pro users only. So if there’s anyone out there who uses the trackback feature in pMachine who can help, I’d greatly appreciate it.

LATER (8:25pm): I should explain what it is I’m having problems with. I am able to trackback others’ posts - I’m able to ping their posts. What I can’t figure out is what I need to do in my template(s) and .php files to have my own posts trackbacked by other people. I’m not seeing where that is explained in the documentation and I’m not a programmer/developer to just know how to do it.

Posted by at 06:13 PM
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I’m Happy - A Rebuttal

My lovely brother-in-law threw down the gauntlet in my post about singles and feng shui.

1. You are not a happy single person. If you were you wouldn’t keep bringing up the fact that others are trying to set you up. If you were truly happy in your singleness, you’d shout it from the highest mountain like Julie Andrews in “The Sound of Music.”

2. Nobody said you need a man to complete you, but you do need one to make a family, and a home without a family is not a home—and neither is an apartment.

3. The grass IS greener on the married side of the fence. How do you know it isn’t? Are you married? Why don’t you get married and see just how green it is?

4. Would you rather they set you up with men who are neither single nor meet the age requirement? They have to start somewhere, we don’t see you helping yourself out. Which brings me to your point about God dropping a man in your lap. God doesn’t take the easy way out of anything, why would he make this acception for you? Are you special? You can count on a single hand all the Prince Charmings God has dropped in women’s laps. Snow White and Cinderella. These days He’s dropping them on the Internet or on cheesy Fox dating series.

5. What makes you think you wouldn’t be happy being married? Again, don’t knock it if you haven’t tried it.

I say since Jen won’t make it her mission to find the man of her dreams, we all take it upon ourselves and find him.

Direct all eligible bachelors to [url=http://www.freakinjen.us]http://www.freakinjen.us[/url]. The first person to find her mate, wins a new toaster oven provided by the bride-to-be when she gets a duplicate at her bridal shower. *lol*

Let the games begin!

Denis, I know that you meant much of this to be tongue-in-cheek, but I also know that you’re somewhat serious with your questions so I will respond to your points one-by-one.

1. Did you not read my post? I believe I was “singing it from the hilltops” that I’m happy as a single person - you can’t get much more public than the internet. In addition, I brought my single status up here because I was amused by LP’s reaction on Sunday as well as her deliberateness in calling me with the feng shui article yesterday during work hours. I thought it would make an interesting read, maybe generate some comments, and help you who seem to be worried about my single status to understand that I wish to be left alone. Apparently, I didn’t make my case.

2. Who said I want a family? Besides, I do have a family. And my apartment is my home. The number of people who reside in a domicile don’t dictate whether that domicile is a home. It’s the attitude of the people who reside in that domicile. I consider my humble apartment to be a home.

3. There’s no need for me to respond to this really. For you the grass turned out to be greener. I also know that for others it isn’t.

4. I don’t want to be set up. Period. I don’t need help because I don’t have a problem. I am special - even in God’s eyes. He knows me and how I think. He knows that I can’t be bothered with dating, it’s why I don’t date. Why does everyone assume that He wants everyone to be married? Maybe He wants me to be single? Listen, I have things in my life that I consider more important than the quest for a husband. I’m not looking for an exception here. I’m looking to be left alone.

5. I’m not saying I wouldn’t be happy married. I’m saying I’m happy single and I don’t understand why people have such a hard time understanding that.

To my friends and family: I know you love me. I know you think I’m great and would be a good catch. I appreciate that. I really do. You know what? I think I’d be a good catch too. But I’m not interested in being set up. Got it?

To the commenters at the other post: Thanks for the encouragement.

To the blurkers: Feel free to add your 2 cents.

All comments are welcome, even if you’re wrong.

Posted by at 12:59 PM
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Toilet Humor Instructions

LT Smash posted something on the potty. Er...he posted something about the potty. He posted something to be posted on the potty.

Oh, go read it for yourself.

Posted by at 11:28 AM
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Tuesday, August 19, 2003

Heat Up Your Love Life with Feng Shui

I hope my dear friend, LP (with whom I plan to duel with the penlights up the nose next month), will allow me to post this without her being offended. But I was really amused when she called me earlier with some love life advice. I’m still tickled, so I’m writing about it here. LP, you know that I adore you. What follows is out of my utter affection for your zaniness and obvious care for me.

The post title is derived from this article she found at iVillage.com. Actually a co-worker of hers found the link - a single gal herself, she was looking for a way to improve her odds in finding a husband. LP thought it might help me as well. In my case, I might be able to find one if I were looking. I’m not looking, nor am I interested in looking.

In an aside, on Sunday at church The Marshal’s wife oh, so casually mentioned the new guy they have coming to her super-secret office in the next week or so. I was aware of the move, I got the email with the list of all transfers, noticed her office was getting a newbie and that was the extent of my interest. But she had to mention that he’s single and 35, in front of LP, who started dancing with excitement to such an extent that you would have thought The Marshal’s wife had him in mind for her and not me. But alas, LP is happily married to JHP, so LP’s exuberance was just her natural excitement at the possibility of matchmaking. I happen to be the unlucky matchmakee in her sights.

To make matters a little more uncomfortable is that upon hearing LP’s squeal of delight at the news from The Marshal’s wife, my mother came rushing right over and joined in on the teasing and near-scheming of my dear friends. And I know they love me and just want me to be happy. And I know they’re all very happily married and wish the same for me.

But here’s the deal:

1. I am happy as a single person.

2. I don’t need a man to “complete” me. I am complete already. If a guy wants to join me, he’s welcome, but he needs to be complete already himself.

3. The grass is not necessarily greener on the married side of the fence. Different, yes - greener, no.

4. Please don’t attempt to set me up with a guy you don’t know just because he’s single and meets the age requirement. For that matter, please don’t attempt to set me up with any guy at all just because he’s single and meets the age requirement.

5. Why is it so hard to believe that I like being single? Does this mean I don’t want to be married? No, but I do enjoy the freedoms of being single. It took a long time for me to get to that point, please don’t make me go back to the days when I was miserable because I was single.

Let me be honest about my thoughts on marriage (as it pertains to me) right now. There are definitely some perks to marriage that I would like to enjoy that I can’t as a single person. Aside from those perks, I can’t be bothered with a search for “The One.” Personally, I don’t think I need to be looking anyway. If God wants for me to be married, then He knows my personality and knows that I’m not going to be looking. So I fully expect that if I’m to be married, then Prince Charming will pretty much fall in my lap one day, proclaim his undying love for me, and sweep me away from my supposedly miserable single status. Until then, I’m keeping on keeping on as I am.

And no, I’m not listing the perks I’d like to enjoy. Use your imagination, I’m sure you can figure them out.

Posted by at 06:00 PM
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It’s Called Proofreading

Maybe it’s because I was a technical writer/editor for seven years, but I tend to notice typos and errors when reading pretty much everything - books, magazines, blogs, etc. I understand when things get missed - the same people reading the same documents over and over will often miss the littlest thing. But you’d think there would be at least one person designated as a final proofreader - someone who hasn’t touched the document at all so they have a fresh eye to catch those little nitpicky errors.

It seems the USMS publishing services people don’t proofread often enough. I’ve caught errors in a few major publications and now there’s a glaring error on the first line of the first page of the new USMS phone directory:

“In the event of an ermgency contact the...”

How on earth did that get missed?

Posted by at 11:20 AM
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Yellow Pages, Day 326

Apparently, today is the day I field, “Can you give me the number to...” calls. My phone has rung 5 times since I arrived and all 5 calls have been to ask for the number at headquarters.

Posted by at 11:08 AM
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Monday, August 18, 2003

Dueling Banjos

The student ministry at my church is hosting a fundraising variety show next month. It’s a country-western theme with a chili cook-off too. I was asked to sing a song from O Brother with two other gals - we’ll be singing “I’ll Fly Away” as a transition between acts.

And I’ve signed up with LP to do a really funny version of Dueling Banjos with penlights up our noses. You have to see it, it’s hilarious, as my family will attest in the comments. *hint, hint* Anyway, I need a copy of the song and I really don’t want to buy it...so if anyone has a copy that I could borrow, I’ll pay for the postage to and from.

It’s a weird request, I know. And if I can find a way to post the video of the skit, I’ll do it, although given that it’s done in the pitch black dark, I don’t know how it’ll translate to video.

Posted by at 11:27 PM
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Being Herb

Bryan at Clarity Amidst Chaos gets gratuitious linkage for this post about herbs and herbs (it’s called “well this explains my recent urge to tongue bathe” if the permalink doesn’t work).

I laughed out loud. Run over to see why.

Posted by at 09:09 PM
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Blogging in Private

I remember seeing a Friday Five or similar question meme in my early days of blogging that asked if you kept your blog secret from your family and closest friends or if you were open about it with everyone. I wasn’t sure how to answer, because at the time it was a little of both. My sister knew, of course, she was the one who started me in the world of blogging. But my parents didn’t know. And I did email some specific friends with the URL, I have friends all over the country and I knew the blog would be a great way for them to keep up to date on my life without having to send mass letters or emails. But there was a large group of people in my daily life that had no clue, because I didn’t want them to have a clue.

So today, this question came back to me with an email from my mother. She and Dad had our new pastor and his wife over last night. I asked what they talked about and she mentioned that they had talked about my blog (what!?) and a discussion we had had over lunch yesterday about a couple of the theological discussions at Thinklings.

I have to admit to a fleeting moment of unease at the thought of my pastor knowing about my blog - my narcissistic rants, snarkiness, complaints, whining, not so kind stories, links to maybe questionable sites, etc. And I responded to my mother’s email with the following:

What’s funny is that while my thoughts, snarkiness, picture, etc. are published for all to see on the WWW, I somehow think I can keep it a little bit secret from some friends and family. I think once you and Dad knew about it and started visiting regularly, I had no chance to keeping it low key.

Does this mean it’s open season on Jen Speaks, please tell everyone in the family and church about my blog? Not really, because the truth is if everyone read my blog, then I would probably be too self-conscious to write as I do now - freely and with little self-censorship. What you see is what you get with me here at Jen Speaks.

Not that I’m sharing my deepest, darkest thoughts or feelings. There’s plenty of my life that I don’t share here and don’t plan to share here. I won’t talk about my love life, if I ever get one. I won’t talk about family arguments. I won’t talk about church disputes. I won’t talk about matters in my job that are to be secure - unless it makes the news or is in the public domain already. I won’t name names of people in my stories - to protect their privacy. If they comment, then they’ve opened themselves up and that rule may change. And there are a bunch of other self imposed guidelines I won’t bore you with. This is my online journal. I’ll talk about what I want to talk about, be it traffic, my job, my family, my church, my politics, my dog, whatever.

So let me ask you, my fellow bloggers - how secret is your blog?

Posted by at 06:51 PM
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Prisoner Mail

We get the occasional letter from a prisoner with requests for anything from, “Where’s my money?” to “Why haven’t I been moved?” and so on. Today’s installment of Prisoner Mail can be viewed here.

I especially like his assertion that he “haven’t did nuffing wrong...”

It’s sad really.

Posted by at 06:30 PM
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Today’s Monday Mission

PromoGuy’s Monday Mission 3.33

1. Are you good at responding to emails and/or Blog comments?

I used to be great as responding to email, I’ve slacked off since the blog started a year ago. I’m good about responding to blog comments. It’s all about the blog right now.

2. Does it make you crazy when people won’t reply to your emails even though you know good and well that they are reading them?

Sometimes. Mostly I just want an acknowledgement that they received it more than a real response.

3. I recently watched the FOX special “101 Things Removed from the Human Body” which was quite disgusting in a can’t-help-but-watch kind of way. It got me to thinking about many of the accidents I had as a child. I remember climbing over a fence after T-ball and catching my palm on the top of the chain-link fence. Went through my hand and tore it right open. What’s the most unusual thing you’ve had inside your body?

Nothing unusual to report. I had a toenail practically ripped off a few years ago, but that’s a-whole-nother question.

4. What person from your past would you most like to run into and visit with for an afternoon? Why them? What person would you like to not ever see again as long as you live? How come?

I would most like to see my friend from junior high, Tiffany. We were pretty tight while I lived in that town, I moved away but we managed to keep in touch until my junior year of college - she went into the Army after high school and I lost touch with her when she moved to Germany. I haven’t heard from her since and I have no idea where she is now.

There’s not really anyone I don’t want to see again.

5. What was the last bad meal you (or your special someone) paid too much for? What’s the story there?

Lunch today. No story, really. We wanted to try a new place, had heard this place was good. It turned out not to be good. We won’t be returning.

6. If out-of-the-blue you were forced to find a new career, if there was just suddenly no need for your field of expertise, just what job do you imagine you would seek out? Do you have any skills you can “fall back on?” (If you stay at home or are a student, adjust to fit your situation)

Gee, wasn’t I in this position last year? I toyed with the idea of grad school to get my MBA. Honestly, in my current position, it ain’t gonna happen. Government jobs are as sure as you can get.

7. If you were to open up your own restaurant, what would it be called and what type of food would you serve? Describe the “feel” of the place (the decor, the music, etc).

Ah, here’s where my domain name comes in. I was in culinary school several years ago. A friend said I should open a restaurant and call it “Freakin’ Jen’s” - and we talked about the kind of food I would serve. It would be a homey, relaxed kind of place. The food would be served family style and be eclectic - pasta, steak, seafood - you name it, I have it.

BONUS: How long can you stand the heat?

How do you indicate negative time?

Posted by at 04:58 PM
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Acknowledge the Adorable

Isn’t she just adorable?

We’re heading north this weekend for her baby dedication at the Cooties’ church. I can’t wait to see her live and to see her in action.

Posted by at 12:00 PM
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Go Vote!

Voting is underway at Tony’s. He’s changing his blog title, you have a chance to make your voice heard. There are some good choices...but make sure you vote for N.

Posted by at 11:40 AM
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Musings

My computer spontaneously rebooted as I was posting something last night. I decided not to get involved with checking for the blaster worm virus just then since The Mayor of Casterbridge was getting ready to start. So I’ll check into that tonight when I get home. I can’t imagine how I got it, if I did, since I haven’t downloaded anything from the internet or opened attachments from email since that thing made it’s appearance.

The Mayor of Casterbridge was excellent, as expected. And I have to clarify that while the book was one that was read in my AP English class in high school, I didn’t actually read all of it. So what I remembered was from long ago class discussions about the book, which is how I managed to get a B+ in that class - class discussions. We “read” a ton of books in that class, but I only read two: Pride and Prejudice and Dante’s Inferno. We read Hamlet and King Lear out loud in class, so if you count those, then I read four.

An aside: Someone just microwaved something really smelly and it’s making me a little nauseated. Sometimes I hate being right next to the kitchen.

Anyway, back to the TV movie review - I give it 3 out of 4 stars, it loses a star only because there were a couple of places where things felt a little disjointed - like they super-edited for time (it was 3 hours).

Posted by at 11:12 AM
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Sunday, August 17, 2003

Discriminating Viewing

Why is it that I can’t resist watching this kind of crap? I especially love it when the genetically altered, now super-smart shark turns on the oven that LL Cool J is hiding in.

UPDATE: I think it’s because Thomas Jane looks hot in the sleeveless wetsuit. And I thought he played a great Mickey Mantle in 61*.