Thursday, August 28, 2003

I have worship band practice tonight instead of tomorrow night. Therefore, no blogging until tomorrow - which is Friday.

I’ve thought all day that today is Friday. It’s going to be an ugly wake up tomorrow morning.

*sigh*

I received the following via email from my boss:

FEDweek Special Alert
Dated: Thursday, August 28, 2003

PRESIDENT BUSH SHOOTS FOR PAY RAISE CAP

President Bush has announced that he’ll invoke emergency powers to hold the federal pay raise to 2 percent in January. But before federal workers get too gloomy, they should realize that this is nothing new. It’s the tenth year in a row that the resident of 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue has attempted to cap the raise. Bill Clinton did it seven times; Bush, now, three. His decision may be final, but Congress can still override it and approve a higher pay increase, as it has in the past. Feds won’t know what the final percentage raise will be until Congress acts on the 2004 treasury-postal appropriations bill. The situation should clarify by the beginning of the fiscal year—October 1. But that won’t stop the rumor mill from spreading the alarm.

Bush’s budget called for a 2 percent raise, but Congress wants a 4.1 percent increase for U.S. civil service employees—the same hike military personnel are expected receive.

Whatever the outcome, the President still has one more decision to make—how to allocate the raise between an across-the-board increase and locality raises. The percentage figure is an average. He could either declare that there will be no locality increases and settle on a percentage applying to every employee, or decide to set a basic raise for all with an additional amount by geographic area.

[via fedweek.com]

I decided to peruse the humor links on my blog - just to make sure they’re as funny as I remember. Also to make sure the links are still good.

So here’s a run-down of what I think are some darned funny websites out there. (Be aware that some may have adult content, I can’t really remember.)

1. The Chronicles of George: As the Keeper explains, “Welcome to the Chronicles of George.  This web site is a collection of helpdesk tickets gleaned from the support database of my previous job.  I was employed there for twenty months, and during that time I had the misfortune of encountering an individual whom I will call George.

George is, quite simply, the worst helpdesk technician ever.”

Yeah, and the commentary the Keeper provides is hy-lar-ee-uhs.

2. Redneck Neighbor: Sadly, this page is retired. I will shed a tear when I remove it from the list. Dang, I never got to finish that one. And the title explains it all.

3. Darwin Awards: This perennial email favorite is always a goody.

4. Leviathan: To be honest, I could not remember what this was. Clicking over, I discovered it’s a Christian joke site - seems to be British. I’ll need to investigate more to decide if it’s still a keeper.

5. Davezilla’s Freak Watcher’s Textbook: Classic. Dave takes photos of regular people, who happen to look freakish, and assigns them a genus class and description. Pretty funny. And a little sad.

6. Secret Diaries of the Lord of the Rings: Written after Fellowship... came out, it’s slashy and very funny.

7. LOTR Written by Others: This is a comment thread at The Straight Dope from before TTT opened last December. Commenters wrote in the style of other well known authors using the story and characters of LOTR. Clever.

Scientologists, Parents who bring squalling brats to R-rated movies
Circle I Limbo

Bill Clinton
Circle II Whirling in a Dark & Stormy Wind

Greens
Circle III Mud, Rain, Cold, Hail & Snow

The New York Yankees
Circle IV Rolling Weights

PETA Members
Circle V Stuck in Mud, Mangled

River Styx

Bill Gates
Circle VI Buried for Eternity

River Phlegyas

NAMBLA Members
Circle VII Burning Sands

Qusay Hussein, Uday Hussein
Circle IIX Immersed in Excrement

Saddam Hussein, Osama bin Laden
Circle IX Frozen in Ice

Design your own hell

Post Title = New Category: I’ve added yet another category. There are too many instances when I write about this kind of stuff. It needs it’s own home.

Left = Let = Leave: You know how some people will use “let” instead of “leave?” There a person in my office that consistently uses “let” and “left” incorrectly. I’m trying to think of a sentence to put it in context and I’m stumped.

Conversate: Same person just laid that one on me.

Yesterday, the supervisor who went to lunch with us also drove. In the car he talked about couples hooking up (I can’t remember the specifics), and came up with the made up word: slutitude.

One of the other admins was at the Big Toe™ buying lunch. There was a guy in front of her placing his order. The lady behind the counter asked if he wanted the vegetable of the day (cabbage). “What’s cabbage?” he asked. She held up a spoonful of the stuff. “You mean, fried lettuce?”

*pausing for the stunned chuckle*

When she finished telling the story, I said, “Please tell me he doesn’t work in this building.” She has no idea - she didn’t recognize him. I’m hoping he was just some schmoe here for court. If he does work in the building, then be very afraid for our judicial system.

I just got an email from Greg with an update on his son, Sean:

Hey there. Just wanted to let you know what’s going on. They took Sean in and did all the tests last night...spinal tap, chest x-rays, blood work, urine, etc. They’ve ruled out meningitis, which is the first and most deadly thing they look for. At this point, we are simply waiting for the blood cultures to come back from the lab. Some of the tests take 72 hrs. So, Sean will remain in the hospital until some time Friday for observation and as a precaution. They think it’s most likely just a virus of some sort, but they want to be sure before they send him home. His fever peaked at 102.3 and seems to be coming down now.

[...]

Thanks so much for keeping us in your prayers. Once I know more I will let you know.

Books or Movies?

I love both - I even love when books are made into movies, but there have been some really bad adaptations that have soured me on the movie when on it’s own the movie was actually pretty good.

Case in Point #1 - The Firm - that’s a good movie. With years of distance between my reading the book and viewing the movie, I can say that I like the movie. However, when that movie came out, I hated it - because I had just read the book and I was ticked that they made a crucial plot change about halfway through the movie and the ending of the movie in no way resembled the end of the book.

Case in Point #2 - Simon Birch - this movie was loosely based on A Prayer for Owen Meany, which is one of my all time favorite books. It’s in my top 5 all time reads. By comparison, the movie is utter crap - whole parts of the story have been cut out, the end is not the same as the book, it’s a weak (WEAK) version of the story. There is one scene that I do love - the nativity - because it’s the one that truly captured the same scene in the book (although the book’s version is way funnier, imho). Simon Birch on it’s own is a sweet little movie that I probably would have liked if I had never touched the book.

Then there are the successes…

Case in Point #3 - Pride & Prejudice - granted this is a TV mini-series, but I think it qualifies. This is a perfect example of a well done adaptation. If you’ve seen it, then you know how great this is. If you haven’t, then try to see it - it’s fantastic.

Case in Point #4 - Lonesome Dove - it doesn’t get any better than this TV mini-series. Again, it’s the perfect adaptation. When I read that book, I could clearly visualize the barren desert landascape of that tiny Texas town. The characters were finely written. When I saw the mini-series, it was the book in visual form. I was floored.

Honorable Mention goes to Band of Brothers and I’ll go ahead and mention The Lord of the Rings Trilogy, only because I’ve read enough of Fellowship... to know that PJ got it mostly right.

So, I welcome your thoughts - which is better? Books or movies?

Wednesday, August 27, 2003

I was online when there came a flash-crack, lightning - followed by darkness when my power went out for maybe one full second. Everything came back on - the clocks flashing their mesmerizing 12:00, the computer rebooting. I had started to respond to a comment on another post. So now I need to redo that.

In the meantime, I watched the NBC Nightly News while waiting for the worst of the storm to pass. I haven’t watched network news in a long time, and I’m reminded why I stopped in the first place - man are they biased.

First, let me say that Brian Williams has spent way too much time in the tanning bed (that can’t be a real tan) - the whites of his eyes were spooky against the bronze skin of his face. Or maybe that was his makeup. Whatever, it looks terrible.

Second, the story of the Alabama 10 Commandments thing. There are a ton of reasons I haven’t brought up this story - the main one being that Christians will never look good on this one. The guy in the plaid shirt yelling that they had “removed God” really irked me. They didn’t remove God, they removed a marble slab depicting the 10 Commandments. It’s a memorial monument. Do I think it should remain? I don’t see the harm in the memorial being there, but the judge lost his case. He took an oath to obey (and rule on) the law, he needs to do so. Take that as you want.

Third, on the way home it was reported that Bush is planning to cut the pay raise to federal employees next year (I can’t find a link to a story). The talk show host then asked if that irked federal employees in light of the news earlier today that Paul Bremer is saying that rebuilding Iraq will cost up to the $100 Billion range. He has a problem with the US funding that.

I don’t. And I don’t have a problem with the cut in my pay raise next year. For goodness sake, it wasn’t going to be that big in the first place - it’s going from about 3-4% to 1-2%. Please, that 1 or 2% isn’t going to break me financially. We’re not getting a pay cut nor are any employees going to be laid off. So for those who have a problem with it, I say get over it.

On the money to Iraq - I believe we have an obligation to see that the country that we liberated is stable before we leave it on it’s own. Yes, we have our own budget woes, the economy is improving but slowly. I strongly believe in tax cuts. I also strongly believe that Congress and the President need to cut spending. They’re still spending way too much money on things that don’t need to be funded federally. But everyone has their pet project, so I am willing to help the cause for freedom in Iraq by living with a 1-2% pay raise next year instead of a 3-4% raise.

Enough from my soapbox - I’m now going to explain “meme” to Jared at the other post.

UPDATE (Thurs 9:44am): Beth kindly provided a link for the federal government pay raise cut story. Thanks!

I heard about the fainting goats last night. I didn’t think it was a legit story until I saw the video - hilarious.

UPDATE (8:30pm): Because someone is picky about his media player options, here’s a link with a photo. I’m still looking for another with video.

UPDATE (8:50pm):  More photos.

Which is Better? has been added. I thought of two good ones on the past week, but I didn’t write them down at the time that I thought them, so they are gone. But I know I’ll come up with others in the future and I’m a little hopeful that maybe I can start my own meme in the blogosphere.

Anyone know if there’s already a “which is better” meme?

1. There’s no update on the baby yet. I tried calling before lunch and got a busy signal. I just tried calling and got their machine.

2. There’s a Rappahannock and a Tappahannock in Virginia.

3. I just typed a check for an inmate medical bill - inmate name is Jack Nicholson. No, it’s not the Jack Nicholson.

4. LP just emailed a follow-up on the feng shui for singles thing: FYI: My friend doing the feng shui has had THREE guys ask her out in ONE WEEK!

My response: Good for her! Actually, that wasn’t my response via email, but it is for the blog.

5. LW and I were invited to lunch with the warrants guys. We went to Hops, which was a tad overpriced, but tasty. And we had the slowest waiter on the planet. It was a good thing we had a supervisor with us for our two hour lunch.

Kevin got a good photo of the wicked storm we had yesterday afternoon. As I commented at his blog, I was driving in the middle of it. It was not fun - huge bolts of lightning, high winds, driving rain, and a green sky make for some edgy driving.

I kept hearing about the mass power outages all over the area, downed trees, etc. I almost called Greg to see if they had power, but I figured he would have called my cell phone if they wanted to cancel. And I fully expected that when I got home all of my clocks would be flashing, indicating that I had lost power for a little bit, but that wasn’t the case. So I didn’t think much more about it until I hit bad traffic this morning - listening to the radio it seems that about 120,000+ people are without power in the area (mostly in Maryland).

And we’re in for more thunderstorms today. Yay!

Tuesday, August 26, 2003

...because Greg and his bride needed to take their 6 week old little one to the emergency room. Turns out his lethargy today was the result of a growing fever. By the time we sat down for dinner his temperature had spiked to 101.5 degrees (add one full degree for infants and it’s pretty high). They called their doctor who said to take him to the hospital, just in case.

We managed to eat in between phone calls then I cleaned up the kitchen so they could put a bag together for the baby and get their 2 year old ready for Grandma to babysit. I left at the same time as Greg, he was taking the baby and his wife was going to wait for her mom and follow later.

So if you’re reading this and are a praying person, please pray for them. She was pretty torn up - a nurse mentioning a spinal tap is never a good thing to calm an already nervous (and guilt-laden) mother. I asked them to let me know his status when they get a chance, I’ll keep you posted.

Otherwise, it was a fun evening while it lasted. Their toddler is super cute. He was shy for about the first 5 minutes then he was crawling all over me while trying to escape the dastardly clutches of his tickling dad. I’m glad they live so close, it’ll be great to see them more often.

Virginia’s SmartTag is integrating with EZPass. If you live in the northern half of the east coast this is significant. I know for my family alone this will be a huge bonus since we travel back and forth from Virginia to New Jersey more often with the arrival of little CootieGirl. We were just talking about signing up for EZPass while in the midst of the trip this weekend. Having that pass would shave about 20 minutes from the drive up to the Cooties.

[via wizbang]

LT Smash tells of his homecoming. Having experienced a few for my Dad, it brought a tear (or three) to my eyes.

Welcome home, Sailor. Job well done. Many thanks for your service.