Tuesday, December 20, 2005

Hey Mom! Ith has the recipe you mentioned you wanted to try.

I’ve mentioned my affection for Martha: Everyday. I’ve also mentioned my affection for The Apprentice: Martha Stewart. I dig the woman, don’t ask my why.

In any case, there were a couple of things that happened on Martha: Everyday this week that made me think about posting something about it. But busyness kept me from doing it until I read the following at TWoP:

Martha’s daytime talk show, Martha, has become painful. PAIN. FUL. I am just full of the pain when I watch her awkwardly interact with her guests, stepping all over whatever they’re saying, ordering them around her kitchen or impromptu potting shed, telling them they suck when they do something wrong—it’s awful. The Marcia Cross appearance, a.k.a. the first episode? Lovely. Hysterical. Well done. However, this week’s show with Nobu? Well, let’s just say that Martha spent a ridiculous amount of time comparing the cut on her hand to Dave Letterman’s (WHO WASN’T EVEN THERE!), saying that hers was worse than Dave’s, and because of that, Dave needs to come on her show. We’re talking scar one-uppance, people. With Martha Stewart. What’s that about?

On the same show, Alexis was in the back making caramel almond popcorn with Jennifer Koppelman, who was tossing Martha some DELIGHTFULLY nasty looks whenever Martha intruded her big, nosy camera in on what they were doing back there. Martha even had the gall to insinuate that they were just standing around doing nothing! You can bet Alexis could show Martha some scars that would beat her ass. Emotional scars. Apparently, Alexis popped a Xanax before going on that show and thank god she did, since Martha basically said, “Alexis is tall, unmarried, divorced, and without children, so what does she have in common with Jennifer, who is less tall, has two kids, and is married to that handsome man in the front row?” I kid you not. And did you know that when Alexis broke her arm, Martha’s reaction was to laugh? Martha admitted it was a strange reaction to have, but, people, she LAUGHED WHEN HER KID BROKE HER ARM! Insanity.

Martha is so socially inept and mostly, it seems, with her own beloved daughter. Alexis is a chick that I think I would enjoy hanging out with - I bet she’s got some doozies to tell on her mom. She’s exactly the kind of gal that I hung out with in high school and college - my sister hated almost all of my friends because she thought they were snooty. Alexis comes across as cool and aloof and snooty, but I’m thinking she’s got a wicked sense of humor about her and that she is anything but aloof. I think she’s shy and grew up with an overbearing mother.

Oh, and the gem from yesterday’s show was Martha’s comment that her husband left her over a gingerbread house. Anyone see that? Hilarious.

It’s a terrible show, really. But I like it.

This will tell networks what people are actually watching.

NEW YORK — Starting next week, the company that measures what people watch on television will also follow what they record on digital video recorders to watch later.

The move by Nielsen Media Research is a reflection of how the traditional notion of watching TV is changing. And if Nielsen’s numbers show that new technology is also changing what people are watching, it has the potential to profoundly disrupt a multibillion-dollar business.

An estimated 7 percent of the nation’s 110 million homes with televisions now have digital video recorders, and that’s expected to rise to one quarter of the TV population by sometime in 2007, Nielsen said.

[...]

It has taken this long partly because the Nielsen “people meters” that record what families are watching weren’t equipped to handle DVRs, she said.

The company’s new “active/passive meters” can, however. And with the help of a code embedded in a program by the television networks, they can tell when something that has been recorded is actually watched. They even know when people fast-forward through commercials.

[...]

But since people with DVRs tend to watch more television than people without them, the data also may help smaller, cult favorites. Tests revealed that the WB’s “Smallville,” for example, was watched at double the rate in DVR homes than in homes without the device.

This might have saved a show like Firefly. This is good for good television.

Monday, December 19, 2005

I realize this is a long range forecast, but it’s worth looking at to prepare travellers for what they may face here in the DC area on the weekend of the wedding.

Especially troubling is the forecast for Thursday, Dec 29. This is a big travel day for Beau’s family. I’m praying for nothing wet to fall from the sky from Wednesday to Monday.

Oh, and it’s going to be bitterly cold.  Bring your winter gear, people! If you don’t have winter gear, get some!

Today marks the annual Christmas holiday Winter Office Potluck. Yes, we’ve reduced it to the season instead of the Season. Sad, especially since we don’t do these for every season. Spring, Summer, and Autumn must feel so slighted (discrimination!). Actually, our resident atheist (although she’s more agnostic really) dubbed it thus. Since she’s the party planner these days, I guess she gets to choose the party title. Although Potluck is a misnomer since she and I are the only ones who cook food and bring it in for the wolves to consume. This is my fourth Winter Potluck and she didn’t even bother to have anyone sign up to bring food; she just asked for $15 per person then she made a trip to Costco. But because I actually like to contribute food that I have labored over, I offered to make my potato casserole, which I did, in duplicate. (There is a recipe in the archives somewhere, I am pretty sure that I’ve posted it.)

Anyhoo, The Director and The (Acting) Marshal both made appearances, which was nice. The Director made a point of taking a large portion of salad just in case anyone was going to tattle on him make a report to his wife.

The Cake Lady brought festive cupcakes this year. But the most popular dessert is Paula Deen’s banana pudding. Within 10 minutes of the first person taking a spoonful, it was pretty well devoured.

I’m now going to take a few Tums™ and curl up under my desk until the food coma wears off.

Phone rings.

ME: US Marshals Service.

HIM: Yeah, who do I talk about about a friend of mine? He’s into a situation that he really doesn’t need to be in right now…

I cut him off.

ME: Try his lawyer.

Silence for a couple seconds. I could picture the guy with his mouth hanging open while he tried to think up a response.

ME: If your friend has been arrested, then there’s nothing you can do for him. He will need to go through the court process. I’m sorry.

HIM: Uh, OK. Thank you.

Your Elf Name Is...

Booty Fluffernutter

You Are a Bright Christmas Tree

For you, the holidays are all about fun and seasonal favorites. You are into all things Christmas, even if they’re a little tacky.

[Via Deb Solo]

Via email from my boss:

Words Women Use:

FINE—This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

FIVE MINUTES—If she is getting dressed, this is half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given 5 more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

NOTHING—This is the calm before the storm. This means “something,” and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with ‘Nothing’ usually end in “Fine”

GO AHEAD—This is a dare, not permission. Don’t do it.

LOUD SIGH—This is not actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A “Loud Sigh” means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over “Nothing”

THAT’S OKAY—This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can make to a man. “That’s Okay” means that she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

THANKS—A woman is thanking you. Do not question it or faint. Just say you’re welcome.

Send this to the men you know to warn them about future arguments they can avoid if they remember the terminology! And send it to your women friends to give them a good laugh.

Included at the bottom of the message were the following:

You may not know that many non-living things have a gender. For example:
1) Ziploc Bags—They are Male, because they hold everything in, but you can see right through them.

2) Copiers—They are Female, because once turned off, it takes a while to warm them up again. It’s an effective reproductive device if the right buttons are pushed, but can wreak havoc if the wrong buttons are pushed.

3) Tire—Male, because it goes bald and it’s often over inflated.

4) Hot Air Balloon—Male, because, to get it to go anywhere, you have to light a fire under it, and of course, there’s the hot air part.

5) Sponges—Female, because they’re soft, squeezable and retain water.

6) Web Page—Female, because it’s always getting hit on.

7) Subway—Male, because it uses the same old lines to pick people up.

8) Hourglass—Female, because over time, the weight shifts to the bottom.

9) Hammer—Male, because it hasn’t changed much over the last 5,000 years, but it’s handy to have around.

10) Remote Control—Female...... Ha! You thought it’d be male. But consider this—it gives a man pleasure, he’d be lost without it, and while he doesn’t always know the right buttons to push, he keeps trying.

Sunday, December 18, 2005

Lyn tagged meme. Here’s the scoop:

The rules are simple:
1) List 5 Weird Habits on your blog.
2) Comment or Trackback here when you do.
3) Tag 5 more bloggers who haven’t been tagged.
(Probably should email them just in case they don’t read your blog!)

What’s funny is that in no time flat, my family and friends could identify weird things about me, but it’s taking me a bit of time. However, here are my weird things:

1. While I like the flavor of most fruits, I don’t like to actually eat the fruit itself. Cooked fruit is absolutely a no-no.

2. While I have no problem singing solos on a stage, I refuse to sing “on demand” in casual settings and I never let people hear me practice.

3. I generally wake up every morning by 6am whether I need to or not. Internal clock and all that.

4. I am very particular about where things go in the frig. Just ask my mother about the lemons.

5. I love winter - cold, snow, all of it.

Tagged by me:

1. Jaynee
2. Anyone from Thinklings
3. Eric
4. Bryan
5. Jay or Deb or both

Yeah, so it’s halftime and the Redskins are killing the Cowboys - score 28-0. Ouch. Heh.

Woo!

MUCH LATER: We win! Final score 35-7.

It’s so very nice when the Redskins beat Dallas. Even better when we beat them twice in the season. *contented sigh*

Longtime reader and frequent commenter, Princess Jami, is getting married.

Congratulations!

[Via Jay Solo]

Saturday, December 17, 2005

This is a recipe that I modified from the original that I got from a gal at church. Since I made about four changes to the ingredients (out of necessity because I forgot to buy a couple of ingredients when I was at the store), I’m making this version my own. It’s very easy and it is delicious.

Jen’s Texas Chili
Makes 10-12 generous servings

1 lb. ground beef
1/2 tsp. onion powder
1 29-oz can tomato sauce
1 15-oz can stewed tomatoes
1 10-oz can Ro-Tel
1 16-oz bag frozen corn
1 15-oz can pinto beans, slightly drained
1 15-oz can black beans, slightly drained
2 Tbsp Goya Sofrito (red label)
1 small can diced green chilies
1 packet taco seasoning
1 packet ranch dressing mix

Brown the ground beef in a medium or large stockpot. Drain the fat, if there is a lot. Add all of the ingredients to the pot and let simmer at medium heat for 30-45 minutes. Stir frequently. Can also be cooked in a crockpot on high for about an hour.

Great served with cheddar cheese and Fritos as toppings.

I used a 2 or 3 quart pot and it was full to the brim. This is a thick and hearty chili - not too hot, just a little kick, lots of flavor. Let me know if you make it and what you think.

Bryan has a witty take on the fall season of reality TV. Go forth and chuckle.

I especially love what he’s done with The Apprentice: Martha.

I have to say that I have quite enjoyed reading blog-friends’ unpublished manuscripts. I’ve read three now and all have been very good. The latest is Knox’s Irregulars by Discoshaman of The Post Modern Clog.

I believe that any publisher will want to classify this one as sci-fi, which is not my normal reading preference. But Disco created some colorful characters whose leader is Randal Knox. Knox is an officer with the New Geneva Defense Force who is battling the Abkhenazians to save their way of life and their faith. New Geneva is a colony on a terraformed planet who has resisted the Abkhenazian take-over, maintaining their Christian roots and faith. Abkenazia is the new utopia - atheistic, malevolent, hopeless - with a leader who is The Beast personified.

Disco did a good job of keeping the main characters’ Christian faith central without making this an overtly Christian novel. It’s a story of good versus evil, the underdog versus overwhelming odds, people who have a cause for which they will die willingly, love, faith, hope. The dialogue moves the story and is bitingly witty at times. Disco’s own sarcasm is evident.

Once I got my head wrapped around the world Disco had created, I got pulled into their story of survival and battle. It’s a good, entertaining read. He leaves the ending wide open for a sequel, which leads me to believe that this may be the first in a series of stories. So if he’s working on part two, I’m first in the line to read it, please?! So yeah, this means that when it’s published (my typing fingers to God’s ears!), I plan to buy it.

Anyone else read it and have thoughts? I would love to know what others think about it.

Next up: Ender’s Game by Orson Scott Card, which my Dad has encouraged me to read for years. My sister also read it and loved it. I’ve had a copy for a while, so since I’m in sci-fi reading mode, I’ll give it a whirl.

I had my final fitting last night. The dress is done and perfect - steamed and ready for pick up. She was all set for me to take it last night, but my car is too small and not as pristine as my mother’s, so I told her that one of us would pick it up on Monday or Tuesday in my mother’s car. Woo! Now we need to finish off the headpiece.

I’m starting the process of printing the envelopes for the announcements.

I ribboned more programs since our numbers have increased - originially I had done 130 of the 150 we had printed. I asked Mom if the band and other “workers” was included in the 146 and she said no. But we will be feeding them, so they need to be included. By my count, we will have 153 “eaters.” WOW.

Beau got his final haircut yesterday. It’s on the short side which means it will be perfect for the wedding.

I have filled out the form to get my name changed on all of our network programs at work. I’ll fax that to the help desk on my last day so that they will have it ready to go when I return. In other work news: my boss called me last night to let me know that our scheduled audit was cancelled. Woo Hoo! He was worried about it since I was going to be on my honeymoon for most of it. Anyway, the name change will be a hassle because not everyone will know my new name and I’m worried that email will get lost in the transition and I’ll get locked out of programs. But it needs to be done so I’ll deal with it.

I got my next to last pre-wedding manicure yesterday. I love my nail guy - he’s very good at his job. Anyway, my nails were setting up in the light box (I have gel overlays, which I highly recommend if you ever consider getting fake nails) and he was over by the register. When he came back he handed me an envelope and wished me a merry Christmas. I thanked him and double tipped him in return. Later I remembered to actually look in the envelope - he gave me a certificate for a free fill, which I plan to use next time I go in before the wedding. Then he’ll be unavailable for a month while he’s visiting his family in Vietnam in January.

Just two more weeks.